The clock is ticking brothers and sisters. Counting down to Armageddon. The whiners reveal themselves in many teams across this once great league. From the self-entitled Canadians, cruelly indoctrinating our newer fans with the ridiculous blasphemy of "old time hockey". To the depraved Philadelphians, annoying us on Twitter and in forums. From the false analysts covering all of our TV screens. To the pathetic Floridians, residing in the basement of the Southeast, and the remorseless Penguins, growing bloated with the rental players of deadline sellers.
The signs of the butt-hurt are all around us, evidenced in tears and snot from the faces of pansies. You have but to scroll to the comment sections brothers and sisters. The truth is, these crybabies are here. The embodiment of this, the supporters of sobbing, the enablers of bitching, sit among us, cloaked in the sweaters of wings of red.
Does California not acknowledge these hysterics? Do we not ready our prototypical insults? And do we desire trolling them hard?
I read their statements, and I see a cowardly group that complains incessantly, and cries like screeching newborns, "We're a dynasty! We are HockeyTown and this can't happen to us! For we are the Red Wings, and our playoff streak will live on for a thousand suns! And our division rivals will suffer the fate of mid-tier draft picks and playoff-less seasons."
But together brothers and sisters, we can create a new era. An order of Pacific coast dominated hockey, without the influence of Motown. Starting now. With a win. Before Detroit moves east.
Los Angeles Kings
@ Detroit Red Wings
Wednesday, Apr 24, 2013, 4:30 PM PDT
Joe Louis Arena
Complete Coverage >
Judgement day and Los Angeles Kings tickets!
You should really go watch Carnivale so you understand what I am ripping off
This truly is the end times for the Detroit Red Wings. The season is in it's dying embers and the Kings are playing judge to the NHL's abominations, finding which ones are worthy and who are not. Columbus's fate has been thrown into jeopardy, Dallas is close to finished, and Minnesota is spared. Now comes time to determine whether Detroit goes down in a ball of fire or whether their precious streak lives on past realignment.
The age of California is here for the West, all the while it has grown ever apparent the West reigns superior to their opposite, the East. Our kingdom of hockey dominance is ever developing, and while the infighting may persist, the infidels across the land are heeding our warnings. Except for the Ducks, because, you know, regression. But that's besides the point right now. The Wings are fighting for their lives, and with only three games remaining, a loss now is crushing.
For the Stanley Cup Champion Los Angeles Kings of the great state of California, they looked anything but that in their last game against the Wild. Lord knows Sutter laid into them after that performance, but in the second half of a back-to-back against a desperate team, this is going to be a tough one. Though the potential to dash hopes and dreams of the Red Wing faithful may be enough for the ultra-trolls of the NHL. And I can think of no more deserving fan-base than that of Detroit as they now depart the western conference for good after whining for years about it. It truly is the end of an era, and Detroit will be missed. Mostly because now they are really beatable come playoff time.
Prediction: Thy Kingdom come...