The Blue Man Group

Here's the players to watch for from the Blues in their first round match up against the Kings.

Brian Elliott

He should be worried/out for revenge after looking like total shit last year in the series between St. Louis and L.A. I'm guessing Jaroslav Halak will have his injury nursed by Hitchcock personally after the first instance of Elliott falling apart. So after game one. Honk honk!

David Backes

Put a fucking shirt on. Backes is a douche. There's your analysis.

T.J. Oshie

He's okay, though I'd still say extremely overrated because he's essentially just a ripoff of Fern Gully.

Alex Pietrangelo

This young defensemen just blue himself.

David Perron

His offensive output is going to be necessary in every sense of the word if Kings aren't distracted by his stunning physique.

Jamie Langenbrunner

Get it? Because he's old!

Barret Jackman

What a fat ass.

What the hell is wrong with the Blues? Is there a law in St. Louis saying you can't wear a shirt? Los Angeles swept them last year in the second round of the playoffs, and then swept the regular season series this year also. So, predictions?

St. Louis wins 4-1

More importantly, I will be having the official "Fuck Off" with St. Louis Game Time, the world wide leader in having the word "fuck" in their hockey blog. We here at Battle of California, and by we I mean only me, take exception to being only second in fucks. So I am keeping track of fuck words posted during the series by our blogs. If they should accept this challenge, good on em. If not, why the fuck not? Are they scared? Also, they actually don't know this yet, but I need the head start. Those guys don't fuck around. Enjoy the fucks!

Me: 9

STL: 0

Here's the schedule for round one:

Game 1, Los Angeles at St. Louis: Tuesday, April 30, 5:00 pm PT
Game 2, Los Angeles at St. Louis: Thursday, May 2, 6:30 pm PT
Game 3, St. Louis at Los Angeles: Saturday, May 4, 7:00 pm PT
Game 4, St. Louis at Los Angeles: Monday, May 6, 7:00 pm PT
Game 5*, Los Angeles at St. Louis: Wednesday, May 8, TBD
Game 6*, St. Louis at Los Angeles: Friday, May 10, TBD
Game 7*, Los Angeles at St. Louis, Monday, May 13, TBD