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Anaheim Ducks Gameday: Detroit, A City Full of Hate

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Red Wings fans are dealing with some inner demons.

Boning Hard. Photo Credit
Boning Hard. Photo Credit
Jeff Gross

Whoa there, aggressively homophobic Wings fan...

The movies aren't real?

Certainly they're at least based on a true story, right?

Hold on I need to go check this out.

...Okay back now. After extensive research, it appears that noted bigot Nolan Turner is correct; there is no indication anywhere that The Mighty Ducks trilogy is based on any true-life events. This is heartbreaking, of course, and completely unexpected. And since Mr. Turner was right about this, what if he's right about other things? Are we all just faggot fag ducks no tux all weak?

Let's see what other Wings fans think.

These guys certainly seem to have some anger issues.

While a player's sexual orientation makes no difference to me, I am pretty bummed out if that Nickleback thing is true.

Looks like this guy also just recently learned that The Mights Ducks wasn't real, and blames the hoax on the gay community.

A new summer Olympic sport.

I think this guy was actually talking about baseball before this tweet, so I'm not even in the right sport anymore.

He's probably talking about birds.

Okay, we're back to hockey!

What weird speculation.

A more straight-forward approach.

Okay, well I've seen enough.

Red Wings fans, everybody!


Next Game

Anaheim Ducks
@ Detroit Red Wings

Friday, May 10, 2013, 5:00 PM PDT
Joe Louis Arena
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Gameday Prediction: The Ducks once again don't bother to show up, because playing two consistently decent games in a row is too god damn much to ask.