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San Jose Sharks Gameday: Los Angeles smells like pee

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The Sharks are heading back to LA for game 5. I hope they like the smell of urine!

The stench of human waste is the reason Sutter's face looks like that.
The stench of human waste is the reason Sutter's face looks like that.
Thearon W. Henderson

As I have previously mentioned, I live in the greater (in size, not in quality) Los Angeles area. I don't spend very much time in the city itself, because it is so very horrible and unpleasant, but circumstances recently conspired against me and I found myself spending a few hours walking around downtown Los Angeles and Hollywood.

Here are some observations from my harrowing journey:

#1 The LA Metro subway system is full of some of the weirdest people you'll ever see. I am convinced that some of these subway riders have never visited the Earth's surface, and live and die down there amongst the trains and tunnels.

#2 There is not enough hand sanitizer in the world to make you feel clean after spending some time riding the LA subway.

#3 The Hollywood Walk of Fame is total bullshit. All the stars are covered in stains and grime and 90% of them are dedicated to losers nobody alive cares about and you have to pay a ton of money to get a star so nobody cool does it anymore and fucking Pat Boone has TWO separate stars and that's just insane.

#4 Right near Union Station, LA City Hall, and the courthouse there is this weird semi-underground mall that has a collection of shitty stores and restaurants which I guess are only open during the week because when I went there on a Saturday it was a super-creepy ghost mall. I took a picture:


Beautiful, isn't it?

#5 Everything in downtown LA and Hollywood smells like fucking shit and pee and it's gross.

Say what you want about San Jose, I guarantee it smells a hell of a lot better than Los Angeles.

Next Game

San Jose Sharks
@ Los Angeles Kings

Thursday, May 23, 2013, 7:30 PM PDT
Staples Center

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There's only one highlight you need from game four:

If you take a close look at this replay, you can see that the official clearly made a mistake by blowing the whistle early, and his actions unfairly robbed the Kings of a goal.

But if you take an even CLOSER look, you can see that it's totally hilarious.

Haha fuck you Penner.

Prediction: Sharks win 4-1 after Jonathan Quick gets thrown out of the game for punching a ref in the face.