The 5 Funniest Hockey Tweets of the Week: Inaugural Edition

Twitter is where all the greatest stuff is happening these days, and hockey humor is no exception. Although the NHL Twitterverse is much quieter during these summer months than it will be once the season actually starts, there are still some comedy gems out there if you know where to look, and if you're willing to wade through the miles of garbage tweets where people check in to stupid restaurants, complain about television shows, or, God forbid, tweet about baseball.

In what may or may not become a weekly series depending on how lazy I am (and, fair warning, I'm pretty lazy), I've done the hard work on Twitter for you. Here are the five funniest hockey-relayed tweets for the week ending August 4th, 2013:

#5

No way if give a 5+ year deal to a guy Pavelski's age. Much better off giving them to guys like Dustin Brown

— Rudy Kelly (@rudykelly) July 30, 2013

I don't know who this Rudy Kelly character is or where he came from, but one thing is for sure: he has almost 300 fewer followers on Twitter than me.

#4

Saw Ryan Whitney described as an "offensive defenseman" which seems appropriate since he's so bad it's offensive.

— Fear The Fin (@fearthefin) August 4, 2013

A solid joke from the head writer of SB Nation's second-string Sharks blog.

#3

Kids Week on Jeopardy? Might finally be able to get more than 2 right now

— Logan Couture (@Logancouture) July 30, 2013

Just imagine Logan and Judson sitting in the living room together, shouting angrily at the TV as they try in vain to answer any of the questions that smug bastard Alex Trebek asks. Truly a heartwarming scene.

#2

Settle down, whaley. It's okay to be gay. No need to freak out about it.

#1 - The Fake Dan Ellis Memorial Tweet of the Week!

Is this some kind of sick joke @Budweiser ??? pic.twitter.com/yzBnDBuavG

— Strombone (@strombone1) July 31, 2013

Roberto Luongo now owns one of those Budweiser Red Lights, which is amazing and hilarious. Very few human beings have the ability to laugh at themselves that Luongo does.

That's all for this week, bronies and gentlemen. Until next time, if you see a funny Tweet about hockey you think is worthy of being one of the top five of the week, send it to me @MegalodonBOC.