The Ducks' First Week of Preseason

Hey guys, sorry I haven't been around for a while.

Unlike when I'm usually too lazy to write anything but don't have any good reason for it, this time I do in fact have an acceptable excuse. I just had a son born this week, so I've been a bit preoccupied. His name is Jonas, but no, he was not named after (nor is it pronounced it the same as) Hiller.

Anyway, I know that nobody on a sports blog gives a shit about other people's kids, so I'll move on. Let's take a look at what I missed during the first week of the preseason...

9/16 - Phoenix Coyotes @ Anaheim Ducks

Final Score: Ducks 6, Coyotes 1

Holy shit, a 6-1 blowout against a division rival? THE DUCKS WILL NEVER LOSE AGAIN! RAISE THE 2013-14 PACIFIC DIVISION BANNER!

Uh-oh, Luca Sbisa was injured? Good thing we're the best team in the world and can afford to play a little lean.

9/17 - Los Angeles Kings @ Anaheim Ducks

Final Score: Ducks 0, Kings 6

A 0-6 shutout doesn't mean anything in the preaseaon, guys. The Ducks didn't win a single preseason game last year and we did great in the regular season.

9/18 - Anaheim Ducks @ Colorado Avalanche

Final Score: Ducks 2, Avalanche 1

The start of a winning streak!

9/20 - Anaheim Ducks @ San Jose Sharks

Final Score: Ducks 3, Sharks 2 (OT)

Another win against a division rival to prove we are the best team in the pacific, forever.

Predictably, Raffi Torres is a piece of shit, and his collision with Emerson Etem was probably the result of some completely unacceptable dirty play by Torres. Apparently there's no video of this to prove me wrong so you'll have to take my word for it. No word yet on the extent of Etem's injury.

Hopefully Anaheim can make it out of the next three exhibition games without another injury.

I hate the preseason.