There were two big stories in the funny hockey Twitterverse this week: Corey Crawford's new contract and the Buffalo Sabres' new jersey. Both were ugly, ill-conceived disasters, and both provided plenty of Comedy Juice to get the tweets flowing.
Today is Corey Crawford's day with the Stanley Cup. I can only assume he was holding it for ransom. "$36 mil or the Cup gets it. Come alone"— Chris Peters (@chrismpeters) September 2, 2013
Do you guys remember like two years ago when we all thought GMs had figured out that it doesn't make sense to spend big money on goalies? What the hell happened with that?
I like how the new Sabres jersey has a picture label for the logo. "Is that a bison?" "No, it's obviously a buffalo and is labeled as such."— SkinnyFish (@SkinnyPPPhish) September 4, 2013
This tweet was my inspiration for the jersey re-imagining I did in the header image up there.
St. Louis attempting to force Pietrangelo's hand by signing Ryan Whitney is like dating Steve Buscemi to make your ex jealous.— Fear The Fin (@fearthefin) September 5, 2013
Steve Buscemi is probably almost as good of a hockey player as Ryan Whitney at this point.
This all by itself is a hilarious tweet, but because I refuse to actually give the official #2 spot to Steve Ott, I'm going to go with bezzerkker's tweet in response instead:
@MegalodonBOC That's the most hideous thing in the league. And that jersey is terrible.— bezzerkker (@bezzerkker) September 4, 2013
#1 -The Fake Dan Ellis Memorial Tweet of the Week!
"canadian athlete blows it as his whole country watches:" the canadian athlete story— ryan lambert (@twolinepass) September 3, 2013
Simple and mean wins the day with me, as it always does. Great work, Lambert.
Remember, if you see a funny hockey tweet during the week and think it deserves a place in the top five, send it to me @MegalodonBOC .