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I typed in "Kings goal" to find a picture and it's clearly been a while
I typed in "Kings goal" to find a picture and it's clearly been a while
Dilip Vishwanat






Oh yeah, today's game is against Phoenix, blah blah blah. Sure the Kings may have only scored one goal, but baby steps. Maybe this time they can try for TWO goals. I know, hold on to your seats! And you know why the Kings scored? Because I can't!

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>The Kings score less than <a href="">@SharksGotMyLeg</a> which I didn&#39;t know was possible</p>&mdash; Rudy Kelly (@rudykelly) <a href="">January 28, 2014</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p><a href="">@SharksGotMyLeg</a> Good luck, you wonky-dicked piece of shit.</p>&mdash; Winging It In Motown (@wingingitmotown) <a href="">January 28, 2014</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>hitting the post like the door hits me in the face at the end of a date</p>&mdash; Ryan Dunn (@SharksGotMyLeg) <a href="">January 28, 2014</a></blockquote>
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Seriously though, do you have any friends that are really desperate?

Next Game

Los Angeles Kings
@ Phoenix Coyotes

Tuesday, Jan 28, 2014, 6:00 PM PST Arena

Complete Coverage >

Jerk-Off 2014

Yesterday was a really close race between two huge jerks (according to you, the readers) with Raffi Torres falling short to master jerker, Mr. Megalodon Q. Pennyfeathers. Don't worry Raffi will be back later to try again, I'm sure. Anyways, today we have the Coyotes. Just kidding! It's the Senators for no reason at all.

Chris Neil

He's the only normal jerk on this list, so go ahead and just vote for him.

Bobby Ryan

Does anyone in California like him anymore? He must be a huge jerk if lovable ol' Brian Burke doesn't like him.

Mika Zibanejad

That's not a real name, you crazy fuck.

Craig Anderson

There's really just something about him I don't like. I don't know, maybe it's just me. Anyways, fuck 'em I guess.

Prediction: Shutouts for everyone, and I get over this cold I have so I can write longer, crappier blogs for you all.

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