Kings Gameday: Another Hockey and Baseball Crossover

Baseball's merciful end draws near, whereas hockey is just kicking off. It's that peculiar time of the year when I get excited for the Kings to maybe do well (expectations are high lately and that still feels weird), as I also get over the fact the Dodgers blew another post-season. That much has stayed constant at least. This year for the National League Championship Series features two teams that are always beating each other up to see who goes to the World Series; the San Francisco Giants and St. Louis Cardinals.

Now St. Louis fans may be all excited, thinking that their shitty Cardinals' success will somehow transfer to their shitty Blues. That's not even the Cardinals' comparable team. A Midwestern team that has had a lot of turnover but a high amount of success? Hate to say it St. Louis but your Cardinals are essentially the Blackhawks. "Blah blah blah, Molina/Toews is the best leader in the game", and "We're the best bunch of fans, we get our team!" It's funny these two cities hate each other so much.

Which of course brings us to the Cardinals' opponents: The Giants. A California based team that has years of mediocre finishes, but recently has put together great playoff runs with just good enough regular seasons? This pains me, but it's too appropriate. The Kings and the Giants are kindred spirits at this point. Large losing streaks followed by impressive winning streaks? Hey, sounds familiar. Both possess important fat guys on their teams, with Pablo Sandoval and Drew Doughty. San Francisco has their overrated pothead pitcher, Tim Lincecum, and the Kings have their overrated drunk goalie, Jonathan Quick. I supposes this makes San Francisco the greatest baseball city in the world also, but oh well.

As for the Blues, ironically, they are similar to Chicago's baseball teams. Yes, I mean teams. They combine the absolute futility and lack of success of the Cubs, with the sheer detestable atmosphere of the White Sox. Really, the biggest similarity the Blues and Cardinals have is that they have the two biggest sacks of monkey semen in the league on their rosters with Steve Ott (who's greatest achievement was licking someone's ear during a game) and A.J. Pierzynski (who is a real life heel character from WWE). At least you still have your racism, St. Louis.

There are plenty of hockey teams that have their baseball comparable team be in their city also. The Ducks for example. They and the Angels both have some unlikable douches, like Josh Hamilton and Corey Perry. Both have won a single championship. Both struggle to put asses in the seats unless they are winning a ton and the visiting team has fans that travel well. The Boston Bruins and Boston Red Sox are another easy comparison since everybody fucking hates them. The Miami Marlins and Florida Panthers have the common bond that no one watches them.

The Sharks meanwhile are a little trickier. They aren't the Oakland Athletics, seeing as the A's have won championships. They aren't even the San Diego Padres. Even they have been to the final round. No, the Sharks are the Seattle Mariners, specifically the Mariners of the late 90s/early 2000s. Neither have been to the final round, but have had incredible regular seasons. They were the fun pick to win championships that never happened. They're just playoff disasters, bound for failure. Joe Thornton and Edgar Martinez should start a support group. Plus, there is the teal(ish) connection, and that the Sharks will be playing in Seattle in 2016.

Got any other comparisons? Feel free to share (so that I can steal your ideas for a later post).

The Kings knew I was in attendance and put a real show on for me. They are such a nice bunch of young men. There is some bad news regarding injuries, as now Marian Gaborik is also out of action (stunner!) along with Trevor Lewis and Jake Muzzin. But there is some good news. Jake "The Elusive Eel Eyebrow Warrior" Muzzin re-upped his contract with Los Angeles, and will be staying with the team for an additional five seasons after this one at a cap hit of four million dollars each year. It's a pretty reasonable price for a top pairing defenseman. Especially seeing as guys like Brent Seabrook, Keith Yandle, Andrei Markov, Mark Streit, Paul Martin, Matt Carle, and Tobia Enstrom have annual cap hits well over five million dollars. I guess winning really does make everything easier.

Prediction: The Kings don't win, which makes everything more difficult. 3-2 loss, with goals by Carter and Toffoli.