Circle of Jerks: Dunn on Stace

It has been a very long time since we have done the ol' Circle of Jerks here, and for a while we weren't sure if we were going to continue it. What with having Meg leave and having A GIRL involved now, you can understand why. But nonetheless here we are Circle of Jerking it up, and here I am attempting to get Stace involved. It was a complicated process, though I think we all left smiling and satisfied.

1. The Sharks still don’t have a captain! We all know eventually it will be John Scott, but do you think anyone else stands a chance? Or are they just going to be lame-o’s and rotate the captaincy?

I personally think that the best candidate for the captaincy is Vlasic. He's still very young and has a lot of experience already. He has really come into his own as a player and his composure is something to take into consideration. He's not afraid to be vocal but he has a good demeanor. I don't believe that the expectations for him to be a miracle worker would be there as well. I feel like if someone like Pavelski became captain, especially after having that amazing season last year, the expectations would be too high. If he performed even the slightest bit under what he did last season, it would probably turn into a Thornton/Marleau situation all over again. Plus have you seen Vlasic's dog photos?

WITH THAT BEING SAID THOUGH, the Sharks' management for whatever reason, is obsessed with Logan Couture. Their statements more or less suggest that they are building the team around him or that it is "Couture's team". This would be fine but he can act like an idiot on and off the ice when things don't go the Sharks' way which bodes for more trouble. I feel like he's too young to get the C and has growing to do, he deserves an A at best. Couture will get the captaincy to drive me crazy.

Vlasic is far too boring to be captain. Plus, if Caligula can make his horse a senator in ancient Rome, then the Sharks can name a horse as alternate captain. To help out John Scott (even though he doesn't need any help). Moving on...

2. Even with Brent Burns on defense, the Sharks still are a little shallow back there. Scott Hannan and Matt Irwin aren’t very impressive, and I don’t know what a Mirco Mueller is. What do you suggest they do?

Moving Burns back to defense is probably the most underrated awful thing that the Sharks did this offseason. Hopefully it doesn't last very long. How hard would it be to get a time traveling DeLorean so that the Sharks could go back in time and dump Hannan? They have a lot of money, right? I know that Boyle is old and slow but I think that Hannan is considerably worse. He was basically only kept on the roster to be a "veteran presence" for the young guys but Boyle could have done that too, while playing more minutes. Oh well, Jarrett Stoll thankfully didn't end Vlasic's career during the postseason so we still have him, and Braun is getting considerably better. Demers is pretty okay, not that great, but okay. Irwin was scratched a lot last season in favor of Stuart and Hannan which leads me to believe that he slept with a coach's wife. We'll see how much playing time he gets this season. I've watched very little of Mirco Mueller's play but I've liked what I've seen and I think he could make a difference. Bottom line, the defense isn't that great but it's not THAT bad. Dump Hannan, pick up Leddy, and boom, 100 times better. I know that John Scott is also a defenseman so there's always that…. *never stops drinking*

First off, the Sharks have close to no money at all thanks to their horrendous television deal. It's why they will be moving to Seattle shortly. Second, Leddy would be perfect for replacing Boyle. They both scored goals against their own team in the playoffs after all, though Boyle's was far more hilarious. Lastly, John Scott on defense would make the most sense. They need a big guy back there, plus Jarret Stoll can't hit him in the head since he's so big.

3. Are you going to be at the Kings home opener against the Sharks? If not, what will you be doing to commemorate such a wonderful moment?

I would suck it up and go, but tickets are so expensive. I miss the days where I could get tickets to Kings games for cheap, you know, back when they were super shitty and no one cared. The good ol' days indeed. As I recall from the first time the Kings won the cup, the Ducks refused to some extent to be the team that played them for the banner raising game, which is so funny because there was no real rivalry at that time. I like that the Sharks had the balls to own it and play. I'm really jaded so I just assume now that any time the Kings play the Sharks, I will be disappointed, banners or no banners. With that being said, do you want to watch the game together, Dunn? I have no plans. First round is on you.

I don't have much money, but I can afford a round of Battle of California's favorite brew: Coors Light.