Sharks Gameday: The Scott Hartnell Show

"A losing streak? In October? What is this shit? If the Sharks aren't good in October, what's the goddamn point?!" - Sharks fans, right now

Basically everyone is freaking out because the Sharks have lost a couple games to Eastern Conference teams that in hindsight aren't very good. I personally don't care because it is the third week into the season and they have a winning record. Shit happens. The Sharks aren't the best on the road, nor are they great during those awful afternoon games. It's not a big deal.

Both Antti Niemi and Alex Stalock let in stupid goals the past couple games, but they'll get it back. I really like that they've been alternating games and sharing the number one position. The trouble is that I feel like Niemi is at his best when he gets most of the work (when I say most, I mean like 70 games), but that kind of load causes fatique in the postseason (a lie I like to tell myself). The other troubling factor is that Alex Stalock has mediocre AHL numbers, which means why should he even try? WE ARE DOOMED!

The most terrible part has been defense, which is a tale as old as time. Like most I was excited about Mirco Mueller, but he hasn't been that great, but I would still rather have him eat up minutes than Scott Hannan. Also, the bottom six forward lines are a complete tire fire. On a positive note, the Marleau-Couture-Nieto line has been amazing and Joe Thornton continues to be Joe Thornton.

Today the Sharks play the Columbus Blue Jackets, a team that I think is rather adorable. They went from being a sad bottom of the barrel team to a cute little team who can make the playoffs. It is very sweet. Good for you, Columbus. Keep on being you! If hockey continues being a cruel asshole, I'm sure Columbus will reach the Stanley Cup Final before San Jose.

I don't know much about Columbus, nor do I know much about Ohio. I recall that the film Tommy Boy was based in Sandusky, Ohio, which I am not convinced is actually a real place. I'll have to look that up another time. Another thing I know about Ohio is that Drew Carey was born there! He also had a show called the Drew Carey show that I never watched because Mimi creeped me the hell out as a child. All I know about the show was that it was set in an office and that it had probably one of the greatest theme songs of all time.

Since there is no originality in Hollywood anymore, ABC decided to reboot the Drew Carey Show except no one from the original cast wanted to come back because they surprisingly had better things to do. I'm excited to announce that Battle of California gets to reveal who the new cast of the show is! With a new leading man, new faces, who knows what this crazy set of people will get themselves into!

The Scott Hartnell Show

Scott Hartnell as Scott Hartnell

Ryan Johansen as Kate

Sergei Bobrovsky as Lewis

James Wisniewski as Oswald

Jack Johnson as Mimi

[Editor's Note: I am very sorry]

Gameday!

San Jose Sharks vs. Columbus Blue Jackets

7:30pm PST

Sad Asshole Patrol Center

CSN-CA

Prediction:

The Sharks swept Columbus last year in their two meetings, but the year before that Columbus swept the Sharks in three meetings. Apparently going to the eastern conference automatically made Columbus a weaker opponent by proxy. The sky stops falling and the losing streak ends tonight, Sharks win 3-2 in regulation because the clock stops for two minutes at the end of the third period. Goals by Tommy Wingels, Patrick Marleau, and Brent Burns.

Setting the Tone:

I mean, duh

Tweet of the Day:

.@twitter can you please install a sarcasm font for @EliReith asap

— NHL Blue Jackets (@BlueJacketsNHL) October 21, 2014

Awful Hockey Tattoo of the Day:

[I couldn't find a Columbus Blue Jackets tattoo, apparently their fans are smart]