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Ducks Gameday: Cholula

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Stace and Jer battle it out over Mexican-style hot sauces on this Battle of California gameday. Sharks @ Ducks.

As is tradition here at Battle of California whenever two teams from the best state in the union face off against each other, today's game posts have a theme behind them. Today's compares some hot sauces against one another.

When it comes to Mexican-style hot sauce, Cholula is far superior.

Look, Tapatio is fine. It's a decent hot sauce, and we all have it in our fridge right now because it's cheap. And because it's cheap, it's ubiquitous. Because it's ubiquitous, everyone assumes it's the best and doesn't even bother to consider there might be better. I feel sorry for these people. Look, McDonald's is ubiquitous, and it's a shithole.

Tapatio is essentially the Tabasco of Mexican hot sauces. Well, not as bad as Tabasco, as that is just plain ass water. But it works on the same principles: An over-reliance on vinegar and just a tad of spice to give it some heat. But it completely lacks any sort of flavor, other than the piss-tinge of vinegar. You might as well go back to Tabasco, white boy.

Cholula, on the other hand, has figured it out. Just as much of a kick as Tapatio, but also flavor. Real taste. Yes, it's more expensive than Tapatio, but it deserves to be. It's like comparing Pabst Blue Ribbon to Stone Brewing. You get what you pay for.

And I get it. I often opt for the cheap stuff too. But when taste is important, I go with the good stuff.

Plus, while writing this article, I found out that Tapatio is pretty racist...

"Tapatio" is the slang-nickname for people from Guadalajara Mexico, and the man on the bottle is just an artist's take on a stereotypical "Tapatio." Just as shockingly, the founder is not the dapper mustachioed "hombre" on the bottle.

Is this stereotyping the type of thing you want to support? Go back to St. Louis, you hate monger.

So stick with the Flavorful Fire. Cholula uber alles.

And by the way, if you want an alternative that is just as cheap as Tapatio, but isn't full of hatred, check out Valentina.

Gameday

Sharks @ Ducks

Sunday, Oct 26, 2014, 5:00 PM PDT

Honda Center

Prediction

The Ducks are on a winning streak, and the Sharks on on a losing streak. So naturally, the tables are about to turn. Stupid San Jose wins 4-1.