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Kings Gameday: Trophies!

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The one thing better than winning trophies is lording them over your rivals

Again, thanks Columbus
Again, thanks Columbus
Victor Decolongon

A new season is upon us, brothers and sisters. A clean slate set for new aspirations, simmering with hopes of glory, and to put behind past miscues with potential fulfilled dreams. Unless you are the San Jose Sharks. They have the privilege to enjoy the Kings' second STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS banner raising, and likely get to revisit their reverse sweeping.

But it's just a banner, and everyone has those.

No, the Kings need to parade the Cup around again. They need to. I need them to. The Sharks need them to. It's the right thing to do. As mentioned, every schmuck gets a banner. Sharks, Kings, Ducks, those ridiculous Canadian teams, and even Phoenix/Arizona/Seattle has one. Trophies, not so much. Kings have Cups, Campbell Bowls (not soup related), and Drew Doughty's personal 60 wings in 60 minutes trophy at Chili's. The Sharks have a lame-ass Presidents Trophy, sure, but beyond that they only have participation trophies, and, hell, even I got those.

Participation trophy

And let's not just pass the Cup around again with everyone. No, the Kings need to have some more fun with this, so the Sharks can see how tantalizingly close they were. Ideas:

  • Leave the Cup at center ice, and if anyone from the Sharks try to touch it Phil Pritchard angrily slaps their hand away.
  • Scribble on to the Cup "#ItWas3to0"
  • Have Dustin Brown say the captain of the Sharks can carry it for a minute.
  • Have Drew Doughty hold the Cup over his crotch while he pelvic thrusts it inches in front of Logan Couture's face
  • Bailey goes to lift the Cup. The lion costume head falls to reveal it is actually Drew Remenda.

Now you may be saying, "Hey this is unnecessary and mean!" No. This is for the Sharks own good, similar to rubbing a dog's nose in its own crap when they poop in the house.  It's a learning experience to never blow a series lead like that again. Ideally, by never winning another playoff game ever again. See? Problem solved!

Hey, let's see if the game preview box ever got fixed! Wait. It got removed entirely? Well, what am I supposed to do now? Looks like I have to do everything around here.

Preview 10/8

There we go.

As for the game itself, who cares? This is the is first of 82 more games, which have close to no real meaning besides figuring out who totally sucks and should not be involved in trying to win the Stanley Cup at all (i.e. Arizona and Canada). Kings are pretty much healthy, Sharks have some injuries (not including broken hearts).

Prediction: John Scott scores twice, but Kings win 4-2.