I'm going to get to the point. I don't give two shits about the Carolina Hurricanes. They aren't likable. They aren't hateable. They're simply forgettable. Don't believe me? This is the first time you thought about them all year. I know it's the first time I thought of them.
Carolina is one of those teams that you just forget exists. Florida and Arizona you remember because you still can't believe they haven't folded. Tampa Bay has Stamkos. Ottawa may be the only other team that completely escapes your memory. The Hurricanes have two of the Staal brothers, Principal Skinner's kid, and Cam Ward. I cannot think of anyone else on their roster off the top of my head. Their jerseys are red and white and have something that looks like a butthole for a logo.
I don't know what else to say about them. I'm currently tired as hell and hungover as fuck. It's the fucking Hurricanes, what do you want? They are terrible. Buffalo gets all the talk of landing Connor McDavid, yet the Hurricanes just finally won a game and we're over a tenth of the way through the season. They used to have an old dancing lady at their games. But she died last year.
The Kings have gotten even worse. Shutout in Pittsburgh and beat up by Detroit. Los Angeles has taken a butt-load of penalties and it's been costing them big. But lo and behold, our raccoon savior has returned to bless our garbage cans. Anze Kopitar is set to return and that mercifully brings to an end the Jarret Stoll/Mike Richards top line center situation. Marian Gaborik may be a few days out, too. Now when the Kings lose big I can start making up crazier excuses like aliens stole their talent, a la Space Jam.
Prediction: Carolina scores three first period power play goals and win 3-1. Goal by Williams.