Ducks Gameday: Scancouver

Do you know what a police scanner is? I'm not familiar with what the kids are in to these days, but I doubt it's listening to police scanners. So for those of you who are too stupid or too young to have ever known what a radio is, I'll explain it in very general terms: A scanner lets you listen to police radio frequencies to let you hear where and why cops are being dispatched, and other emergency response activity.

Not many people outside of niche radio enthusiasts seem to care about police scanners anymore, but they say they can still be a good source of local info. Or more importantly, a good source of hilarity.

Enter Twitter account @ScanBC, "Your source for raw, unfiltered, local breaking news" in the British Columbia area. As it's picked up in popularity, you might have already heard of this account. It tweets out the local emergency service happenings as heard on area scanners. Although it doesn't intend to be funny (and in fact a majority of the tweets are boring, everyday Anytown-type police blotter), the nature of Canadian people makes a whole bunch of these tweets unintentionally hilarious.

Unlike America, which has real crime, Canadians don't suffer through endless gun violence and street gangs. It's a much more innocent place. You're less likely to see a murder dispatch, and much more likely to see the type of absurdity that follows below.

Enjoy...

Selected Highlights from @ScanBC

#Vancouver Police are responding to the McDonald's at 1500 Main St after a male just stole the entire cookie display and fled on foot.

— ScanBC (@ScanBC) November 10, 2014

#Vancouver Police are responding to 300 Water St for a noisy party in an apartment. Caller reports they are playing Sir Mix-a-Lot too loud

— ScanBC (@ScanBC) October 4, 2014

#Vancouver Police are responding to the area of W Broadway & Macdonald St for a report of a male watching a porno while driving.

— ScanBC (@ScanBC) November 17, 2014

#Vancouver Police are at English Bay trying to arrest a drunk male in his underwear who is swimming away from officers

— ScanBC (@ScanBC) July 1, 2014

#Surrey #RCMP are responding to a dispute after a caller reported his landlord stole his onions and locked him out of his suite.

— ScanBC (@ScanBC) June 4, 2014

#Vancouver Police responding to 2600 W Broadway after a male in a wheelchair stole 4 Ice Cream cakes from Dairy Queen.

— ScanBC (@ScanBC) November 17, 2014

#Delta Police are responding to 53 St & 1st Ave for a caller reporting that their neighbor is singing karaoke bad in the backyard.

— ScanBC (@ScanBC) October 10, 2014

#Vancouver PD are at a house after a male tried to break into a house using a ladder. Resident kicked ladder away. Male now trapped on roof

— ScanBC (@ScanBC) May 6, 2014

#Vancouver Police are at 6542 Fraser St, A male stole $250 from Moneymart and is now buying a coffee from Starbucks next door.

— ScanBC (@ScanBC) March 3, 2014

#Surrey #RCMP are responding to a residence in North Surrey for a female breaking things and screaming after her parents took away her car.

— ScanBC (@ScanBC) April 28, 2014

#Langley #RCMP are responding to 16th Ave & 236 St for a report of a Llama running through traffic.

— ScanBC (@ScanBC) April 7, 2014

Gameday

Ducks (11 - 7- 2) @ Canucks (12 - 6)

Thursday, Nov 20, 2014, 7:00 PM PST

Rogers Arena

Prediction

Somebody swats Rogers Arena, game is postponed. Ryan Kesler is relieved.