clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Sharks Gameday: Top Five Unfortunate Things about Sunrise, Florida

New, 23 comments

Sunrise, Florida makes me sad.

you know what happens when one falls down during a race...
you know what happens when one falls down during a race...
Robert Mayer-USA TODAY Sports

I've never been to Florida and have never really had an interest in going to Florida. I live in California, do I really need to go to Florida? I mean, going to Disneyworld would be cool, but Disneyland is 10 minutes away from me. Also, I don't really care about going to Disneyworld enough to travel that far. I guess the Animal Kingdom would be cool, but we have an awesome wild animal park in San Diego. Basically, anything that is intriguing about Florida is offered in California, so why bother?

I didn't really know all that much about Sunrise, Florida, so I thought it would be a good idea to read up on the place that the Florida Panthers call home. This is mostly because I've worked 12 days in a row, and I'm delusionally tired. Reading about Sunrise turned out to be depressing, which I guess I should have seen coming, but like I mentioned before, I'm tired.

Top Five Most Unfortunate Things About Sunrise, Florida

5) The name was changed from Sunset to Sunrise

This may not seem like a big deal, but the name was changed because well, there's a lot of old people in Florida. The old people in Florida felt that Sunset was too "final" of a name. There was an article about this in The Miami News in 1976 when the name change occurred and here's an ad on that particular page:

4) The Upside Down House

When Norman (of course his name is Norman) Johnson founded Sunrise, he was trying to think of ways to advertise his new development. [The following sentence is real and not BoC satire] He saw a car that was upside down so he turned a $11,000 home upside down and turned it into Sunrise's main tourist attraction.

3) Barbie Dream House Experience

Don't let the name fool you. As a young lass, I was a huge fan of Barbie. Seeing this as a tourist attraction made me very excited, but much like Sunrise, it is extremely disappointing.

For the record, unrecommended Yelp reviews are the best reviews.

2) Google maps "lost" the city of Sunrise

In 2010, Google maps misplaced Sunrise, Florida. Anyone who searched for Sunrise was redirected to Sarasota, Florida. This was the THIRD time it happened.

1) Florida Panthers

Like there was any doubt. Nobody has any hard feelings for them, they're just kind of there. They're struggling, costing their city a ton of money, and people make fun of them all the time. It's sad.

Gameday!

San Jose Sharks vs. Florida Panthers

7:30pm PST

Sad Asshole Patrol Center

CSN-CA

Prediction:

Much to everyone's surprise, the Sharks lost to the Sabres on Tuesday. I don't really have much else to say about that besides the fact that I told you so. The Sharks are finally home again, and they'll probably be fine because they're so wildly inconsistent. Sharks win, 3-1. Goals from Patrick Marleau, Andrew Desjardins and Logan Couture.

Setting the Tone:

I was originally going to post Wilco's song "Monday" because it mentions FLA in it but then I just decided to post this because it's the best and California is the best.

Tweet of the Day:

The Florida Man twitter account is amazing.

Awful Hockey Tattoo of the Day:

Recycled because there is literally only one person on the planet with a Panthers tattoo.