Kings Gameday: What's wrong with Anze Kopitar?

He isn't fucking scoring, that's what's wrong.

Currently, Kopitar is on pace for about 17 goals and 40 points. That would be a career low in points, and his second lowest season for goals aside from the lockout season of 2013. This is bad, obviously. His shooting percentage is about where it has always been, and he's played most of his minutes with Marian Gaborik and Justin Williams (per Behind the Net). His fancy stat numbers are down to, with his Corsi (or is it Corsies?) down around 15, whereas in 2014 and 2013 he was at 25.

To be fair, Kopitar is sixth on the Kings in scoring and is still one of the team's top performers with shot attempts. The Kings as a whole seem to be slumping right along with Anze. Maybe it's just the defense, as a second and third pairing of Regehr/Martinez and McNabb/Greene isn't as good as Mitchell/Voynov and Martinez/Greene. But Regehr is here to stay for the remainder of the season, and Voynov is likely toast. As for the offense...

Kopitar, again, with his lack of production is troublesome. He hasn't put up points since the game against Boston (four games ago on December 2nd), and those were his first points since the game against Florida (a five game drought). He hasn't scored a goal since November 15th. My crazy suggestions:

HAVE THE BEST CHECKING LINE EVER

Anze Kopitar is one of the best two-way players in the NHL. He has also made Dwight King a 15 goal scorer, and Trevor Lewis seem like an actual offensively capable player. So he should be matched up with both of them and stop offenses dead. Plus it frees up the rest of the lineup!

HAVE HIM ACT AS THE SCREEN ON THE POWER PLAY

Kopitar is 6'17 and weighs a metric ton. That's the type of oversized frame that's perfect for putting in front of a goalie. Kopitar also has good hands. Have him run the screen. Plus, it has to be better than Dustin Brown.

HAVE HIM FIGHT MORE

It'd be cool. Don't be a pussy, Anze.

JUST FUCKING SHOOT MORE

Seriously, he's had three or more shots on goal in only six games this season. What the hell? It doesn't even need to go in. Just put it on target.

My lines:

King-Kopitar-Lewis

Gaborik-Carter-Toffoli

Pearson-Richards-Williams

Clifford-Stoll-Brown

Yes, that will fix the Kings' offense.

I have missed the past two Kings games. But they played the Sabres and Flyers. So the Kings had to have won both, right? RIGHT?!

Prediction: Ottawa is not a good hockey team, I know nothing about them, and the Kings should win easily. They'll lose 5-1, with a goal by Kopitar to make me look like an idiot.