Sharks Gameday: Anger Issues, the Memoirs of a Bruins Fan

Boston sports fans are an interesting group of people. I'm actually not sure whether or not they are human because I feel like a group of people who are so grossly hateful could only be cyborgs who turned against their creators. Imagine thousands of T-1000s from Terminator 2, who are trained to have bad accents, that only speak in obscenities and racial slurs, and there you have it: Boston sports fans! These fans are something that could only be created in a laboratory. They were created to combat annoying Canadian hockey fans and ending up being a whole different type of monster.

As you might recall, the last time we talked about the Boston Bruins, the video of the day was of a Boston fan who was Very Angry about a recent loss against the Washington Capitals. I decided to check out the rest of his youtube page. I was very happy to see that he is an avid WWE fan, but very unhappy to see that he does not have any noteworthy recent Boston Bruins videos. As I ventured further, I found some gems that I thought would be important to share with you. Although outdated, they are worth it.

To be honest, I completely forgot that this fake trade happened since Iggy ended up on Boston the next season anyway. The first thing that stood out to me the most about this video is that everyone ends up naked in his scenario. The second thing that stood out to me is that he literally wants everyone to die on the Penguins. The third thing is that, as a professional in the mental health community, he appears to be having a manic episode.

Listen to how calm he is because he is so happy that the game had a lot of cheap shots. Also, "I put a dollar in, I got a car, I put a dollar in, I got a car, I put a dollar in, I got a car...."

Oh My God. Oh My God. Oh My God. Oh My God. The audio cuts off but damn.

I did a study and I came to the conclusion that this is a clear representation of 95% of all Boston sports fans. I thought it would be important to share this information with you so you can avoid Boston fans at all costs. The other day, I was on twitter dot com, minding my owns, smokin a digi-cig, when suddenly, I was cyberbullied by a group of Boston fans. These boston fans, who shall remain nameless are very mean people. It was very hurtful. I don't want to give away the identity of this particular group of people, so I'm going to generalize and say that all Boston fans are mean.

Gameday!

San Jose Sharks vs. Boston Bruins

7:30pm PST

Sad Asshole Patrol Center

CSN-CA

Prediction:

Hey look! This is the second longest winning streak the Sharks have had this season! At two games! We did it, guys! Can they make it to 3? MAYBE! The Bruins are struggling offensively as of late..typically I would say that the Sharks will help em out but I'll be optimistic. Sharks win, 2-1. Goals from Logan Couture and Marc-Edouard Vlasic.

Setting the Tone:

Tweet of the Day:

I had a feeling Bailey would attack me if I cheered to loud for the Bruins. http://t.co/ZBx7T96a3a

— Dane Cook (@DaneCook) December 3, 2014

DANE COOK IS A BRUINS FAN AND EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE

Awful Hockey Tattoo of the Day:

No it's not