Hey look. More championships for Los Angeles. That's cool. Put it with the others I guess.
*Tosses trophy onto pile*
Oh. Hello there. Didn't see you come in. Please, have a seat.
*Takes off monocle and cleans it*
Well, the Galaxy did it again. Another trophy for them. Five now. The first American soccer team with five championships for that matter. Very impressive. They and the Los Angeles Kings will have a very pleasant trip to Washington DC to meet with the President, Mr. Barack Obama.
*Slips into smoking jacket*
It's the second time now that the Galaxy and Kings have both won championships in the same year. For the Kings, it's all they know. But this is far from the first time L.A. has brought in multiple champions in the same year. The first instance was back in 1963 with the Dodgers and the Lakers. The Lakers won another in 1984, and the Raiders, in Los Angeles of course, won the same year. In 1988 the Lakers and Dodgers both again, plus I was born. Quite the year. Winston!
*Butler shuffles in and pours a Pabst into a golden chalice*
Thank you, Winston. Now the Galaxy won their first championship in 2002, and the Lakers won their third championship in a row the same year. You could count the Angels for that year also if you want, since they're now "Los Angeles", but it's unnecessary I think.
*Props feet up on the back of crouched orphans*
But other cities have been far less fortunate. Take poor Buffalo for instance. The only year a team from upstate New York won anything was in 1951 with the Rochester Royals winning the NBA title. They're now in Sacramento and are owned by a guy who sounds like he is a Bond villain. This is a slight improvement, as they were owned by a family of mobsters and douche bags prior to this,
*Flips open reading material, an issue of Maxim*
No, Buffalo has endured a horrid legacy. Four consecutive years of making the Super Bowl with the Bills and yet no wins. The Sabres' last chance came in 1999 and are currently on the verge of being firebombed to prevent an outbreak of fatal suckiness. Instead the denizens of Buffalo cling to excuses and missed opportunities, with memories like "WIDE RIGHT" and "Hull was in the crease!". Only failures hold on to memories like that.
*Throws Marty McSorley's stick into fireplace*
And don't give me crap like the Yankees belong to you. If they do, so do the Mets, and I don't think you really want that, do you? So while Los Angeles doesn't currently have an NFL team, remember that L.A. still has more Super Bowl wins. But don't fear Buffalo. Through your hard work and dedication, someday you will be rewarded. Like I have done.
*Takes huge rip out of a bong. Turns on TV and begins playing Pokemon Snap*
I missed the last game entirely and don't particularly care. I think Gaborik is playing? I also think Clifford has the flu/mumps/Ebola. If so:
Gaborik-Kopitar-Top Line Trevor Lewis
Prediction: Trevor Lewis two goal game. Kings lose 3-2.