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Circle of Jerks: Dunn on Meg

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Nothing helps battle the cold like some jerking

It took a lot of attempts to create five perfect rings
It took a lot of attempts to create five perfect rings

It's been quite a while, but with the NHL taking a semi-break now's apparently as good a time as any to return to the ol' circle of jerkin'. And it's Olympic themed! The pending lawsuit will be great. Anyways, today I circle around on Mr. Meg himself to get his opinion on pressing matters concerning the Sharks' Olympians. We both spooned and shared a cigarette afterwards.

1. Patrick Marleau right now is reportedly lining up with Ryan Getzlaf and Corey Perry, and there’s a chance Vlasic is paired with Doughty. Are you worried about the Sharks’ players being influenced by these nasty people?

I'm not worried about Vlasic and Doughty, because I've always said that Drew Doughty is just the dumb man's Dan Boyle. Vlasic can definitely handle himself.

I AM terrified of what will happen to poor Patrick, though. Those Anaheim hooligans better not pick on him too much, and I don't want him saying bad words when he comes home, you hear me? Rudy is probably correct when he predicts doom:

Doubtless, Perry and Getzlaf will be making up crazy things for Marleau to do while in Russia to "respect the Russian culture", and I'm sure drinking pee will be on that list.

2. Joe Pavelski stands a chance to be America’s top center. Do you think he can matchup against other countries’ top guys?

Joe Pavelski is an American hero, and America is always number 1!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!

That said he's worse than basically every forward on Team Canada so that's kind of a problem.

Team USA is pretty fucked. Unless of course Dustin Brown knees their opponents into submission. Our hopes rest on your clumsy shoulders, Dustin. USA! USA! USA!

3. Slovenia is fucking terrifying. What scares you the most about them?

I'm not worried about the Slovenian hockey team, because everyone knows Kopitar is a big choker and they don't have any chance without him. What DOES scare me about Slovenia, though, is this weird-ass cave animal that lives there.

Seriously, fuck THAT thing. The Slovenian Olympic jerseys should be forced to feature that monster on the chest as punishment for not yet wiping the species off the planet.