The Olympics are over and we're in the home stretch of the season. If you aren't on Twitter already you're ridiculously behind the times and should be ashamed of yourself, but maybe you've only recently joined and you still aren't sure where to find good hockey-related accounts to follow.
Well I can't help you with that. No one can. What I CAN do, though, is tell you about the ten hockey twitter accounts you absolutely SHOULDN'T follow. These people represent the worst of the worst: boring, offensive, stupid, and just plain awful microbloggers who disgrace both Twitter as a service and the sport of hockey.
Here are the terrible ten, in order of least-the-worst to most-the-worst
#10 Ryan Lambert
God damn it just shut up about the lame bands you like and your dumb charity already!
You can keep talking about hockey, though. You're spot-on with everything as far as hockey goes.
#9 LA Kings
The definition of unprofessional. Also I think one time they let some radio DJ joke about rape on their account.
This account is much more professional than the Kings account but it's WAY too sad so don't follow it for your own good.
A hockey blog specifically devoted to the California hockey teams? That's the worst idea I've ever heard. Stay far away from these dummies and their dumb blog and dumb twitter account.
This one was Rudy's suggestion, since he is infuriated that the Quiz Master doesn't seem to understand what the word "quiz" means:
Sportscentre's Mike Lane plays Quizmaster & asks: should Canada take Stamkos if not declared 100 per cent game ready by time team leaves?— TSNquizmaster (@TSNquizmaster) February 1, 2014
Quiz question that didn't make cut: where is Moulson most likely to be dealt? Boston, LA, Ottawa, Pittsburgh, SJ, Vancouver— TSNquizmaster (@TSNquizmaster) January 23, 2014
Quiz asks who is responsible for chain of events leading to Alfredsson departure: GM Murray, owner Melnyk, agent Barry or player Alfredsson?— TSNquizmaster (@TSNquizmaster) October 23, 2013
Confirming what James Duthie hinted. NHL on TSN Quiz question tonight: who has been early, early season MVP: Anderson, Markov or Marleau?— TSNquizmaster (@TSNquizmaster) January 30, 2013
None of these things are quiz questions. They are just questions. So don't follow the "Quiz" Master.
#5 James Mirtle
He knows what he did.
This guy used to be mildly amusing but then he just stopped tweeting and tried to sell all of his tweets collected into a book, like anyone would ever be interested in that garbage.
These mad men thought it was smart to create a list ranking the "best" NHL Twitter accounts to follow, as if they had no idea of the havoc and misery such an action would cause. STOP PLAYING GOD, SEAN AND TROY!
He's just the worst.
#1 NHL Humor
Okay I was joking about most of the others but now I'm being serious: NHL Humor is fucking terrible and if you follow this account, even ironically, you're doing real harm to the world.
Tonight the Sharks play the Flyers. You'll just have to to take my word for it, since the SB Nation box score thing isn't working. I promise it's probably true.
The Sharks will probably win because they are good and the Flyers are very not good, and this concludes the portion of this post where I analyze hockey.
Video Gamery: My 23rd-favorite video game is Beyond Good and Evil. That was some good shit you guys.