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Sharks Gameday: Dishonored

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The Sharks won the gold medal in the Olympic event of embarrassing the Flyers.

This was pretty much as good as it got for the Flyers.
This was pretty much as good as it got for the Flyers.
Drew Hallowell

Here's what the San Jose Sharks homepage looked like after last night's game:


Check out the baffled, disbelieving expressions on the faces of the players on the bench (and also Martin Havlat looking straight at the camera like a murderer).

Now let's check in on the Flyers homepage...


You're god damn right.

In case you missed the game last night, here are some quick highlights of what went down:

  • Joe Pavelski, even after exhausting himself carrying Phil Kessel at the Olympics, managed a hat trick.
  • Logan Couture, playing his first game since January 5th after missing significant time with a hand injury, scored two goals.
  • Raffi Torres, playing in his first game all season after missing time for being injured or suspended or something I don't know I forget, scored two goals.
  • The Flyers pulled their goalies like a hundred times, but it didn't help.
  • Brent Burns ate Steve Mason.
  • The three Flyers goals were actually scored by Joe Pavelski too, just because he's a nice guy.
  • Philly fans were so disappointed by what they were seeing that they actually left early, finding their normal awful day-to-day lives in Philadelphia preferable to watching the hockey game!
  • Ray Emery tried to fight Alex Stalock and Stalock knocked Emery out with a roundhouse kick to the face.
  • Due to a bet between the mayors of San Jose and Philadelphia, the official food of Philadelphia is no longer the cheese steak, but has instead been changed to "whatever the fuck people eat in San Jose, maybe like sushi or ramen or something."
  • Raffi Torres elbowed all of the Flyers in their heads.
  • All of the Flyers died.

Truly it was a wonderful game.

Tonight's Game

This evening the Sharks play the Sabres, which is another team that is very very very bad. They have a better goalie than the Flyers though. Of course, every hockey team in the whole damn world has a better goalie than the Flyers.

Prediction: The Sharks destroy the Sabres, but it's not as hilarious as the game against the Flyers.

Video Gamery: My 22nd-favorite video game is DDishonored. It's incredible, I highly recommend it, and it contains this cool song.