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Anaheim Ducks Playoffs: $1,474.36

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One of history's greatest monsters has to pay up. Ducks @ Stars, game six.

Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports

Human garbage-butt Ryan Garbutt was fined $1, 474.36 by the league for his spearing to the nuts of benevolent, loved-by-all Corey Perry during the Ducks' 6-2 blowout of Garbutt's garbage Dallas Stars team.

Take a look...

Just disgusting.

Ducks fans (and fans of other respectable teams) have known for a long time that Ryan Garbutt was an awful human being without basic human-empathy and no redeeming qualities, and now it looks like the league is finally figuring it out, too. Garbutt can be considered a repeat offender, having already been suspended 5 games earlier this season for intentionally trying to brain-damage Dustin Penner (though he did get off free for tackling Stephane Robidas and stomping on his leg over and over again until it broke, laughing and insulting Robidas's family the whole time).

Did the NHL get it right? Obviously we might have a little bias as Ducks fans and would like to say they didn't go far enough, but you probably agree that a more appropriate response would be to have Garbutt taken care of by one of those firing squads in Texas that likes to execute innocent people (then have the evidence of the executed party's innocence suppressed by a self-described born-again Christian governor who apparently has no problem murdering innocent people). But I guess a $1,474.36 fine isn't all that bad either.

Of course, given that Garbutt makes $600,000 in the NHL this season, and this fine is only about 0.25% of his salary, that's like one of us average Joes making the median US income of $51,000 being fined $125. That's not so bad, I'd definitely pay $125 bucks to punch a Stars fan in the dick.


5:00 PM on NBCS, TSN2, RDS2, FSSW
American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas

Anaheim Ducks


Dallas Stars

Ducks lead series 3-2


I don't even know how to feel anymore.