Anaheim Ducks Playoffs: Six WikiDegrees of Awful

Since my brave attempt on Saturday to get some Ducks-Kings predictions failed, I decided to find a different way to get some series predictions

You probably know about the parlor game Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, "wherein movie buffs challenge each other to find the shortest path between an arbitrary actor and prolific Hollywood character actor Kevin Bacon. It rests on the assumption that any individual involved in the Hollywood, California, film industry can be linked through his or her film roles to Kevin Bacon within six steps."

Similar to the above concept, the website WikiDistrict lets us find the shortest path between two Wikipedia entries based on the additional articles linked to from within each entry.

For example, if I ask WikiDistrict to find the shortest path between "MTV" and deceased entertainer "Ryan Dunn," the site will find a pretty short link between the two through the show Jackass:

MTV → Jackass (TV series) → Ryan Dunn

But if I wanted to find the relationship between two more seemingly unrelated topics, such as, say,  "Lady Gaga" and "Sugar plantations in the Caribbean," the path would get a little more complex:

Lady Gaga → The Washington Post → Baltimore→ Sugar plantations in the Caribbean

Okay, that's actually a much shorter link than I imagined, but you get the point.

I decided to use these links to find out, objectively, who is the better team morally between Los Angeles and Anahaim, and who therefore deserve to win the series.

How so, you asked? I used 4 concepts that we can all agree are pretty awful, and the team with the shortest number of links to and therefore closest relationship with that concept loses.

Here are the objectively bad concepts: Adolf Hitler, racism, homophobia, and murder. Let's see how the teams add up...

Finding the Links...

Adolf Hitler

Anaheim Ducks → 2013-14 Anaheim Ducks season → Russia → Adolf Hitler

Los Angeles Kings → Slovenia → Adolf Hitler

Better moral team: Anaheim Ducks

Alright, huge victory right of the bat.

Homophobia

Anaheim Ducks → Lakers-Clippers rivalry → Shaquille O'Neal → Homophobia

Los Angeles Kings → Lakers-Clippers rivalry → Shaquille O'Neal → Homophobia

Better moral team: Tie.

Okay, bummer. The Ducks are no better than the Kings when it comes to homophobia.

Racism

Anaheim Ducks → 2014 NHL Stadium Series → WFAN (AM) → Racism

Los Angeles Kings → Raffi Torres → Racism

Better moral team: Anaheim Ducks

With the Stadium Series link, that could have easily been a tie. Thankfully, the honorable Raffi Torres stepped in and saved us.

Murder

Anaheim Ducks ("Sorry, Path not found")

Los Angeles Kings → Los Angeles Police Department → Murder

Better moral team: Anaheim Ducks

Hooray! The Ducks can not be (legally) linked to any murders!

Results

We can clearly see that Anaheim is the morally superior team, and so deserves to win the series. Anaheim has some issues to work through in regards to homophobia, but at least none of the Ducks are out murdering people in the streets like the Kings are so fond of.

But just to drive the point home...

Los Angeles Kings → Joe Louis Arena → Music of Detroit → Insane Clown Posse

Anaheim Ducks ("Sorry, Path not found").

Gameday

Anaheim Ducks

Series tied 2-2

Prediction

Hitler shows up to cheer for Los Angeles, is taunted with homophobic slurs.