Kings Gameday: Pack a Fat One

First, an intro from Megalodon...

I've always been a man who inspired others. In college, for example, I encouraged Rudy to let us try out pepper spray on his face, with hilarious results. More recently, Jer and Dunn were struggling with ideas for their Game 7 gameday posts, and they were being really annoying about it and pestering me to share some of my wonderful and brilliant ideas.

This is their punishment.

At Batttle of California, we have a rich history of discussing the horrors of chewing tobacco. One of them will experiencing these horrors. After tonight's Game 7 decides the winner of the series, the fan of the losing team will have to try dip, for all Battle of California readers to witness.

Being free and Grizzly wintergreen. Merica.

— Total Dip Move™ (@Daily_Dip) May 12, 2014

At my last job I worked, the one in minor league baseball, there was a lot of chewing tobacco. Otherwise known as "dip". A lot of people in the office dipped. Every guy at least. Every guy except for me, that is. I've done my fair share of...frowned upon substances, but I could never bring myself to try dip. Even in my drunkest states I would turn it down. And naturally I was frequently referred to as a "bitch". So with this bet it's a chance to turn things around. I guess. There really isn't a silver lining with this. I figure, if things are grim enough and I lose this god awful wager, I may as well "be a man" and not a, well...

I'm not making fun of you for dipping Skoal Apple pouches, I'm just saying you're a flaming homo.

— Total Dip Move™ (@Daily_Dip) May 10, 2014

Anyways, this guy seems like a real pro. He has suggested Grizzly Wintergreen. Everyone I ever seen packing their mouths full of tobacco have used the same. Gum has a wintergreen flavor! That's pretty much the same product anyways. What could go wrong?

Best of all, this may be my answer to those lady problems I've been having. Girls love a guy who looks tough. A guy who is a rebel. Dipping solves all of that because you clearly are a guy who could give a shit about any oral cancer and partakes in what most everyone acknowledges is a horrendous habit.

Girl: "Ew you dip?" Me: "Ew you period?" #GotHeem

— Total Dip Move™ (@Daily_Dip) March 8, 2014

Totally excited to try this line out.

Prediction: I shoot myself.

I love my country, my beer, my freedom, and my can of dip. If you don't feel the same way you're either gay or a terrorist. Merica

— Total Dip Move™ (@Daily_Dip) April 2, 2014