First, an intro from Megalodon...
I've always been a man who inspired others. In college, for example, I encouraged Rudy to let us try out pepper spray on his face, with hilarious results. More recently, Jer and Dunn were struggling with ideas for their Game 7 gameday posts, and they were being really annoying about it and pestering me to share some of my wonderful and brilliant ideas.
This is their punishment.
At Battle of California, we have a rich history of discussing the horrors of chewing tobacco. One of them will be experiencing these horrors. After tonight's Game 7 decides the winner of the series, the fan of the losing team will have to try dip for all Battle of California readers to witness.
We're all very familiar with how vile dip and the idiots who use it are, so I'll skip to the point.
While trying to determine what brand of dip I will be using if somehow the Ducks blow it all again tonight, I wanted to make sure I didn't blow it and pick the wrong one. So I went back to Meg's old article that discussed this all in great detail, and found a link that went over which brands and flavors are the appropriate ones to use.
And I found this gem:
Clearly, this hateful moron has provided me with best option.
If the Ducks lose tonight, sometime soon you will all get to witness me trying Skoal vanilla dip. Lucky you!
But just how likely is this to happen? Let's take a look back and see how the Ducks typically fair in game sevens...
- 1997 Western Quarterfinals, vs Phoenix: Anaheim won
- 2003 Stanley Cup Final, vs New Jersey: New Jersey won
- 2006 Western Quarterfinals, vs Calgary: Anaheim won
- 2009 Western Semifinals, vs Detroit: Detroit won
- 2013 Western Quarterfinals: Detroit won
Welp, we're two for five. Shit.
Well this is going to be just fucking great, you guys.
I hate this stupid blog.
Having your buddy grab the wheel while you pack a hammer on the rode. Driving and dipping, swerving and spitting.
— Dip Life™ (@DipLife_) April 19, 2014
... Wait, are we even still talking about dip at all here?
6:00 PM on NBCS, TSN, RDS
Series tied 3-3
One of us gets addicted to chewing tobacco and has their teeth rot out before the start of next season.