Kings Gameday: Uh Oh

In my most recent post (not today's, dingus) I listed the sexy stud muffins of the teams still left. Seeing how I am a straight male, if people disagreed with me or felt I had forgotten someone, I was pretty willing to listen. Except there was something that blew up. It may be the most offensive thing I have done here at Battle of California. I excluded the Chicago Blackhawks' Johnny Oduya. This did not sit well with their female contingency.

Except, here's the deal. He's not attractive. He's not bad looking. But he's not "sexy" per say. He's just muscular. Guess what? So is the Incredible Hulk, and he's not hot at all. Unless you are into giant green nutjobs, in which case I already got a much nicer, less socially awkward guy for you.

I'm sticking to my guns on this one. However, now you may be thinking, "Hey clown fucker, are you not including Oduya because he just looks different?"

Well fine. You caught me. I don't think Oduya is sexy because, yes, he's bla-

[ahem]

blasted. I have not seen a more ripped guy in the NHL admittedly. Though that does not equate to sexy. Hear me out now, but he has the aloof look. He seems disinterested, and a guy that ripped means he cares far more about himself then you, me, or anyone else. He's too busy being a man's man. You'll want to go catch a movie, except he'll be all, "Oh sorry, babe. Can't tonight. I gotta work my pecs some more. I've only done 300 bench presses today and I planned on doing the second half tonight."

Then he'll take off while you stay home crying into your bowl of Ben and Jerry's, watching The Bachelor wondering where the love has gone in your relationship, debating on loading up a suitcase and leaving before he returns. Though deep down you know you won't because who else do you have to turn to?

No one. And you'll realize once it's too late, that I was right.

Prediction: I don't know. I don't care. I'm not watching.