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Battle of California Mock Draft 2014

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With the NHL's Entry Draft just around the corner, I'd like to take a moment to present to you Battle of California's Mock Draft.

What a stupid logo.
What a stupid logo.

Look at this stupid draft coming up.

What a dumb baby draft for dumb babies.

It's a garbage draft full of garbage prospects for a garbage sport invented in a garbage country. This is the worst draft ever, which is saying a lot because every draft ever has been absolute horseshit.  It just looks awful.

I can't believe we have to put up with this. This is a joke. Why are they subjecting us to this? What is wrong with this stupid world?

What a complete and utter turd.

To make matters worse, this piece of butt draft is being held in Philadelphia, the fart-bag state. You can tell even the league itself hates this draft if they're willing to relegate it to Philadelphia.

Such a dumb idiot draft. This is the worst thing to ever happen to this stupid sport.

Everybody hates you, draft. We hope you die.

Go to hell.