[SCENE: Stace walks into local internet cafe. She smells a foul stench in the air that resembles a mixture of body odor, funyuns, dr. pepper, and expired cheese. It was her two pals, Jer and Dunn mouthbreathing behind her. Jer and Dunn are drunk]
Stace: Hey Guys, I have something really serious to talk to you about.
Jer: What's that, Stace?
Stace: Do either of you know what cyberbullying is?
Dunn: Yea I think so.
Jer: Tell me more, Stace. Please.
Stace: Cyberbullying is a big deal nowadays its affecting a lot of people in a bad way.
Stace: This is very upsetting news but almost 40% of all hockey bloggers on the internet have been cyberbullied.
Jer: Have either of you ever been cyberbullied?
Dunn: Sadly .. Yes. I'll tell you what happened.
Stace: Yes, Please Dunn.
[goes to a view of the stairs and Dunn on them]
Stace: Hey you Loser!
Dunn: Please leave me alone.
Stace: You have no friends, go home!
[Stace pushes Dunn down the stairs]
[goes to a view of Dunn butt-chugging vodka in a dumpster]
Jer: How many hockey bloggers get cyberbullied?
Stace: 88% of hockey bloggers that use social networking sites like twitter have seen people saying mean or hurtful things to other hockey bloggers.
Jer: Yeah I see that on twitter sometimes, but i don't really do anything about it.
Stace: That's what most people do. Only 36% of people that see people cyberbullying on twitter decide to say something about it.
Dunn: When I get cyberbullied, no one helps me, I have to stick up for myself.
Stace: Sadly, that's what most people have to do. I have a story about a boy/girl named Buttercrunch who wrote a really long winded post about the CIA because people cyberbullied him/her about his/her post about ice girls. A lot of people died of boredom because of that post. It was really scary.
Jer: We need to join together to put an end to cyberbullying! We can't lose anymore lives to terrible conspiracy theories on the internet.
Stace: Every time you see someone being cyberbullied, you stick up for them and help them!
Jer: What if they deserve it?
Stace: It depends, is it Surly and Scribe?
Jer: Well no, not this ti-
Stace: No one deserves to be cyberbullied, except for Surly and Scribe. Please stop any cyberbullying that you come across from now on, except if it is against Surly and Scribe.
Jer: Okay Stace I promise you I will.
Dunn: Same with me.
Stace: Thank you so much.
Stace, Jer, Dunn [in unison]: DON'T BE MEAN BEHIND THE SCREEN!
[goes to a view of Stace sitting on a wooden stool in a Sears' photo studio]
[Stace takes drag from analog cigarette]
Stace: We lose millions of bloggers a year due to people who write really long winded posts about conspiracy theories. Please, call the number at the bottom of the post to help a blogger before it is too late. If you donate 18 cents a day, you could help stop predators from writing about conspiracies revolved around various topics like 9/11, the CIA, the moonlanding, the JFK assassination and many other things that make internet frequenters rip their own faces off. When you sign up, we will send you a t-shirt that has been mildly stained by a hot pocket and a picture of a blogger from their finished basement to thank you.
EDIT: Dunn's number was at the bottom of this post but he was afraid that his mom would get mad if he went over on minutes.