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It finally happened, I've been hired by the Sharks

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.....And my first order of business is to find some new captains. Good grief!

Gone but not forgiven
Gone but not forgiven
CBS Sports

Due to me being frequently right in my analysis on the world wide web, I've been hired by the San Jose Sharks as a scout. Because I have absolutely no experience when it comes to scouting NHL players, hiring people for a job, or actually interacting with hockey players on a professional level, I was stumped. I thought long and hard for a good twenty minutes and remembered that I got hired by my previous employers through Craigslist!

Craigslist is a great place. See a cute girl at your local dry cleaners but didn't talk to her because she made you sweat? Hit up missed connections. Want a sensual body massage? Mosey on over to W4M, M4W, W4W, or M4M. Want some shitty used IKEA furniture? Check out the free! section. Want to discuss controversial topics with other idiots? Go to the discussion forums. Want to be a captain for a NHL hockey team? Please head to the wanted section of Craigslist: SFBay.

Think you have what it takes to lead the San Jose Sharks to their first Stanley Cup? Apply to this craigslist ad and show me what you got. Or apply to the comments because you're a lazy fuck*.

*If too lazy to reply to ad, you are already a highly desired candidate

editi: because my post will eventually be taken down, here you go (click to enlarge)!