BREAKING: The Minnesota Wild have to play all of their games indoors next season.

It was confirmed this morning that on February 21, 2015 the Sharks will be hosting the Kings at Levi's Stadium in Santa Clara. This game will be apart of the 2015 Stadium Series. Fans of other teams, who have severe inferiority complexes, are very troubled by the fact that California is hosting another outdoor game. Many argued that the Stadium Series game last year between the Anaheim Ducks and the Los Angeles Kings made a mockery of outdoor games because of KISS, a beach volleyball court, rollerskaters, etc etc etc, and while yes it was ridiculous, the whole point of the matter is that California is a thousand times better than Minnesota in every way, shape and form.

Five Reasons Why California is ideal for an outdoor game:

5) It's a growing market. Say what you will about California fans and the tendency of people bandwagoning. People bandwagon everywhere. Don't be a stupid loser. I'm sure you became a fan of your team when they acquired a star or made the playoffs as well. Don't be a jealous ugly baby. The fact is that California has hoisted three Stanley Cups (San Jose N/A) in the past seven years, all three teams are very good, and more people are becoming fans of hockey everyday in California. These teams are going to be good for awhile, so get fucking used to it.

4) It's not technically winter in February. Fans will get to wear whatever the hell they want to the game without worrying about freezing to death. I saw pictures of fans at the other Stadium Series games, and although they looked pretty happy, I assumed that it was because they were dead and the rigor mortis caused their faces to stay that way.

3) The Stadium will be filled with beautiful people. This is not something that you will see at an outdoor game hosted by the Minnesota Wild or the St. Louis Blues.

2) The Rivalry between the San Jose Sharks and Los Angeles Kings is a beautiful mess. This rivalry, although I'm on the shitty side of it, is amazing and fun and horrifying and annoying and fucking awful. You can't ask for much more when watching a hockey game.

1) California is the best state ever. Best weather, food, beaches, attractions, etc. Why do you think so many hockey players want to come here to play hockey and not Minnesota, the "State of Hockey"? I'm sorry, but I'll never go to your shitty state to see your shitty hockey team and your shitty huge mall.