This summer has been fucking terrible. Yeah, yeah, the Kings won the Cup, but it has been a snoozefest since then. The NHL has had close to no activity going on, aside from the raging dumpster fire in San Jose. Everyone hates football now. The World Cup? I forgot about that already. I haven't been able to watch the Dodgers at all. All anyone wants to talk about now is either stats or how terrible sports actually are. And let me tell you, this does nothing for me. I am an apathetic white guy who lives comfortably in southern California. I want real substance.
But there was a ray of sunshine. LEAKED NUDE PHOTOS. I don't mean the pictures of starlets and Justin Verlander though. I never really was into Kate Upton, and don't understand the fascination with Jennifer Lawrence. Maybe because I never read/watched The Hunger Games. Who knows? Anyways, the LEAKED NUDEZ I mean are the ones that came out of the hockey players here in California. Soooooo...
DISCLAIMER: HOT SPICY CALIENTE MATERIAL AHEAD
I've already got a few hundred pictures of Alec Martinez I have snapped without his knowing on my phone, but I was pretty shocked to find a much bigger name on the Kings who had their nudies spilled. He may be relatively reserved with the media, but Anze Kopitar certainly isn't shy when he's by himself and with his phone.
He wasn't the only one from Los Angeles exposing everything. Drew Doughty showed how big of a love machine he really is. With a lot of emphasis on "big" here. Dustin Penner has to be envious of that FUPA.
The Kings weren't the only team that had their players private pics get leaked. Logan Couture is known for taking some racy pictures, and it wasn't surprising when he was featured. The only difference being that this time his mom (and her thighs) wasn't involved in these photos. Though I suppose it is quite feasible she was the one snapping these pictures.
Can't wait for him to be named captain, San Jose. But Logan wasn't alone either. The hairiest hockey player on the west coast decided to show off ALL of his hair off in a SnapChat pic. Here's Brent Burns flashing a solo nip-slip.
Oh, and you know there would be member of a member of the Anaheim Ducks showing up. And it's none other than the Ducks' biggest name, Corey Perry, going for a skinny-dip in his luxurious pool.
Please, God, have hockey come back soon.