Teemu Gämedäy -- Retirement Tips from a guy who's good at it

Winnipeg Jets (4th Central) at Anaheim Ducks (1st Pacific), 6 pm or whenever Teemu stops talking.
Arctic Ice Hockey and Anaheim Calling -- the two hockey blogs that outrank Battle of California alphabetically.

Hey, everybody!  Earl Sleek in for a surprise guest post!

Since the Ducks are retiring Teemu's number tonight, Jer talked me into stopping by to offer my expertise on something it turns out I'm really good at -- retiring.  So, Teemu (and Angy), here's a bit of old-timey wisdom:

Earl Sleek's 8 Tips To A Fun Retirement

1. Start it off right with a good farewell speech tonight -- you can steal my notes if you want.  Basically start every sentence with the words "Thanks to..." and end the whole thing by saying "Go Ducks", and you're pretty set -- it's as solid a way to go out as any.

2. Then, immediately start using "I'm retired" as an excuse from having to do anything.  It feels kind of great at first, but then really great later.

3. Binge watch a show or two, but not too many.  Best show I binged last offseason was Orphan Black.  Show I'm happiest is back is Downton Abbey.  Thing I'm most excited about: this.  So yeah, you maybe want to ask somebody else about what show to watch.  Commenters?

4. Also watch some Ducks hockey, and enjoy the effort of others instead of yourself.  Man, that first few months of watching Battle of Cali operate without me writing posts was really fun -- there's definitely days where I miss it, as you can only complain so much in 140 characters, but it wasn't until retirement that I got to come to this site as a visitor, and that's pretty cool to do.

5. Do play some hockey yourself, but something low-effort, maybe like once a week, and in an environment where you can mail it in from time to time.  I write a weekly update on The Royal Half's Pacific War Room, which is sort of blogging, but it's pretty minimal, and I still slack a lot doing it.  But it's a good collection of bloggers, and it's easy enough -- do something like that.

6. Hang out on Twitter at your steakhouse in Laguna and recycle your old cartoons high-end Finnish recipes.

7. Naps are awesome.  Squeeze in a nap whenever possible.

8. After you've accomplished steps 1 through 7, come write a guest post on Battle of Cali.  You can do it in Finnish if you want.  We'll dig up Sleza to translate.

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In tribute, here's the best Selänne drawing I ever penned, way before I was a hockey blogger/cartoonist who later retired.  You're the best, Teemu.  Enjoy tonight.

One fun sidenote to tonight's game: if the playoffs started today, this would be a first-round matchup, with the opening game in Anaheim.  I'd say more, but I'm retired.  :)

Prediction: Ducks win 3-2 (goals by Perry, Kesler, and Hampus), and I finally start getting people to say, "8ternal" instead of "For8ver".

Go Ducks.