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Ducks Gameday - Potty Mouths 2015: The SB Nation Hockey Blog Profanity Rankings

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Checking in once again to see who offended the most grandmas, with a new twist. Maple Leafs @ Ducks.

Steve Mitchell-USA TODAY Sports

About two years ago, former Battle of California editor Megalodon published a post looking at how many times the various SB Nation NHL blogs had written the word "fuck" at least once in articles.

A year after that, he published a followup, examining where each blog stood one year later.

While Megalodon is no longer with our blog these days (off to nerdier things), his spirit lives on in our now-annual feature, "Potty Mouths: The SB Nation Hockey Blog Profanity Rankings!"

But I have a bit of a twist this year, as the new regime always wants to break out of the shadow of the former. I'll get in to this in more detail further on, but let's start with Megalodon's methodology, seeing how each blog ends up using our former ranking system. In his words...

...I took a look at the 31 different SB Nation hockey blogs, searched for the word "fuck" on each of them, and noted how many articles have appeared on each site containing that particular profanity.

This excludes Fanshots and Fanposts, as well as blog comments.

Please pay special attention to this note, as it is often ignored:

Remember that these numbers only count the number of articles that contain at least one "fuck," not the raw number of "fucks."

Also keep in mind, especially for the blogs that only have one or two "Fuck" articles, that...

As we discovered last year, some of these "fucks" are false positives, as the search function is finding "fucks" in the URLs of pieces blogs linked to, such as when On the Forecheck linked to an article from Vice.

Here's what the data for the this year's rankings looks like using this old methodology...

Team Blog
Articles with "fuck" in the past year
Total "fuck" articles as of 2013 Total "fuck" articles as of 2014 Total "fuck" articles today
Florida Panthers Litter Box Cats
0
0 0 0
New Jersey Devils In Lou We Trust
0
1 1 1
Carolina Hurricanes Canes Country
0
1 1 1
Columbus Blue Jackets The Cannon
0
2 2 2
Nashville Predators On the Forecheck
0
2 2 2
Arizona Coyotes Five for Howling
0
7 7 7
Washington Capitals Japers' Rink
0
0 1 1
Buffalo Sabres Die By The Blade
0
5 6 6
Dallas Stars Defending Big D
1
0 0 1
College SBN College Hockey
1
0 0 1
Pittsburgh Penguins Pensburgh
1
0 1 2
Tampa Bay Lightning Raw Charge
1
5 6 7
Ottawa Senators Silver Seven
1
7 16 17
New York Rangers Blueshirt Banter
2
2 5 7
Winnipeg Jets Arctic Ice Hockey
2
10 14 16
Edmonton Oilers Copper and Blue
4
43 53 57
Chicago Blackhawks Second City Hockey
4
397 415 419
New York Islanders Lighthouse Hockey
5
2 6 11
Anaheim Ducks Anaheim Calling
7
6 12 19
San Jose Sharks Fear the Fin
9
43 71 80
Minnesota Wild Hockey Wilderness
11
33 61 72
Philadelphia Flyers Broadstreet Hockey
12
30 41 53
Montreal Canadiens Eyes on the Prize
14
29 70 84
Calgary Flames Matchsticks and Gasoline
16
26 29 45
Los Angeles Kings Jewels from the Crown
16
35 44 60
Vancouver Canucks Nucks Misconduct
19
413 482 501
Toronto Maple Leafs Pension Plan Puppets
26
145 180 206
Detroit Red Wings Winging it in Motown
35
50 102 137
Boston Bruins Stanley Cupof Chowder
50
3 79 129
Colorado Avalanche Mile High Hockey
98
132 202 300
California Battle of California
110
612 760 870
St. Louis Blues St. Louis Game Time
202
746 931 1133

Not surprisingly, St. Louis Game Time takes top billing for a third time in a row with this raw data.

Once again Battle of California had been outdone, but the staff here was confused as to just why that might be. We're the most  foul-mouthed fucking group of fucks that ever did fuck, uttering more fucks than you can shake a fuck-stick at, yet here we are being out-fucked. How is it possible?

We started to think about this. Was there a gap in our methodology? We thought real fucking hard about it, and many fucks later we realized one obvious oversight: Unlike Battle of California, St. Louis Game Time is a real, honest-to-goodness, hardworking blog. Unlike our niche site that is largely ignored by the hire-ups (and the readers), Game Time has a regular posting schedule with numerous writers and constant content. Battle of California? Well, it took me half the month of January to do a recount of the amount of times some blogs said "Fuck" in 2014.

Battle of California just doesn't post that often. And posting schedules and content output of other SB Nation NHL sites also varies. So we decided to calculate things a little differently this year, to get a more honest ranking...

Advanced Potty Mouth Rankings

Here are the total numbers of times the word "fuck" has appeared at least once in an article, per article written for each blog in the past year. This is the new advanced Fuck-inclusion/Article Count (FUC) Metric.

Here are this year's FUC Metrics...

Team Blog Articles with "fuck" in the past year Total articles written in past year FUC Metric 
Carolina Hurricanes Canes Country 0 474
0.000
Buffalo Sabres Die By The Blade 0 736
0.000
Arizona Coyotes Five for Howling 0 845
0.000
New Jersey Devils In Lou We Trust 0 797
0.000
Washington Capitals Japers' Rink 0 984
0.000
Florida Panthers Litter Box Cats 0 520
0.000
Nashville Predators On the Forecheck 0 832
0.000
Columbus Blue Jackets The Cannon 0 607
0.000
College SBN College Hockey 1 1545
0.001
Dallas Stars Defending Big D 1 1459
0.001
Pittsburgh Penguins Pensburgh 1 825
0.001
Ottawa Senators Silver Seven 1 777
0.001
Tampa Bay Lightning Raw Charge 1 701
0.001
Winnipeg Jets Arctic Ice Hockey 2 1019
0.002
New York Rangers Blueshirt Banter 2 962
0.002
Chicago Blackhawks Second City Hockey 4 1010
0.004
New York Islanders Lighthouse Hockey 5 959
0.005
Edmonton Oilers Copper and Blue 4 597
0.007
Montreal Canadiens Eyes on the Prize 14 1848
0.008
Minnesota Wild Hockey Wilderness 11 1303
0.008
Anaheim Ducks Anaheim Calling 7 616
0.011
Philadelphia Flyers Broadstreet Hockey 12 1021
0.012
San Jose Sharks Fear the Fin 9 488
0.018
Los Angeles Kings Jewels from the Crown 16 678
0.024
Calgary Flames Matchsticks and Gasoline 16 628
0.025
Detroit Red Wings Winging it in Motown 35 1031
0.034
Boston Bruins Stanley Cupof Chowder 50 1422
0.035
Vancouver Canucks Nucks Misconduct 19 429
0.044
Toronto Maple Leafs Pension Plan Puppets 26 577
0.045
Colorado Avalanche Mile High Hockey 98 1066
0.092
St. Louis Blues St. Louis Game Time 202 1003
0.201
California Battle of California 110 368
0.299

Ah, it makes much more sense now.

To put it another way, this means that Battle of California said the word "fuck," at least once, in nearly 30% of all the articles written last year. St. Louis Game Time? About a measly 20%, losers.

No one else is even close. And to all of you "family-friendly" blogs who are too cowardly to drop some fuck-bombs: Grow up. It's 2015, for fuck's sake.

YOUR NEW POTTY MOUTH LEADERS...

BATTLE OF CALIFORNIA!

Thank you very fucking much.

Gameday

Oh yeah, today is a Ducks Gameday. Here's the run-down:

Maple Leafs (22 - 21) @ Ducks (27 - 16)

Pension Plan Puppets (0.045 FUC) vs. Anaheim Calling (0.011 FUC)

Wednesday, Jan 14, 2015, 7:00 PM PST

Honda Center

Prediction

Who gives a fuck?

UPDATE: This post was updated at 9:23 AM on January 14, 2015 to include one additional blog: SBN College Hockey.