Ducks Gameday - Potty Mouths 2015: The SB Nation Hockey Blog Profanity Rankings

About two years ago, former Battle of California editor Megalodon published a post looking at how many times the various SB Nation NHL blogs had written the word "fuck" at least once in articles.

A year after that, he published a followup, examining where each blog stood one year later.

While Megalodon is no longer with our blog these days (off to nerdier things), his spirit lives on in our now-annual feature, "Potty Mouths: The SB Nation Hockey Blog Profanity Rankings!"

But I have a bit of a twist this year, as the new regime always wants to break out of the shadow of the former. I'll get in to this in more detail further on, but let's start with Megalodon's methodology, seeing how each blog ends up using our former ranking system. In his words...

...I took a look at the 31 different SB Nation hockey blogs, searched for the word "fuck" on each of them, and noted how many articles have appeared on each site containing that particular profanity.

This excludes Fanshots and Fanposts, as well as blog comments.

Please pay special attention to this note, as it is often ignored:

Remember that these numbers only count the number of articles that contain at least one "fuck," not the raw number of "fucks."

Also keep in mind, especially for the blogs that only have one or two "Fuck" articles, that...

As we discovered last year, some of these "fucks" are false positives, as the search function is finding "fucks" in the URLs of pieces blogs linked to, such as when On the Forecheck linked to an article from Vice.

Here's what the data for the this year's rankings looks like using this old methodology...

Team	Blog	Articles with "fuck" in the past year ↑	Total "fuck" articles as of 2013	Total "fuck" articles as of 2014	Total "fuck" articles today
Florida Panthers	Litter Box Cats	0	0	0	0
New Jersey Devils	In Lou We Trust	0	1	1	1
Carolina Hurricanes	Canes Country	0	1	1	1
Columbus Blue Jackets	The Cannon	0	2	2	2
Nashville Predators	On the Forecheck	0	2	2	2
Arizona Coyotes	Five for Howling	0	7	7	7
Washington Capitals	Japers' Rink	0	0	1	1
Buffalo Sabres	Die By The Blade	0	5	6	6
Dallas Stars	Defending Big D	1	0	0	1
College	SBN College Hockey	1	0	0	1
Pittsburgh Penguins	Pensburgh	1	0	1	2
Tampa Bay Lightning	Raw Charge	1	5	6	7
Ottawa Senators	Silver Seven	1	7	16	17
New York Rangers	Blueshirt Banter	2	2	5	7
Winnipeg Jets	Arctic Ice Hockey	2	10	14	16
Edmonton Oilers	Copper and Blue	4	43	53	57
Chicago Blackhawks	Second City Hockey	4	397	415	419
New York Islanders	Lighthouse Hockey	5	2	6	11
Anaheim Ducks	Anaheim Calling	7	6	12	19
San Jose Sharks	Fear the Fin	9	43	71	80
Minnesota Wild	Hockey Wilderness	11	33	61	72
Philadelphia Flyers	Broadstreet Hockey	12	30	41	53
Montreal Canadiens	Eyes on the Prize	14	29	70	84
Calgary Flames	Matchsticks and Gasoline	16	26	29	45
Los Angeles Kings	Jewels from the Crown	16	35	44	60
Vancouver Canucks	Nucks Misconduct	19	413	482	501
Toronto Maple Leafs	Pension Plan Puppets	26	145	180	206
Detroit Red Wings	Winging it in Motown	35	50	102	137
Boston Bruins	Stanley Cupof Chowder	50	3	79	129
Colorado Avalanche	Mile High Hockey	98	132	202	300
California	Battle of California	110	612	760	870
St. Louis Blues	St. Louis Game Time	202	746	931	1133

Not surprisingly, St. Louis Game Time takes top billing for a third time in a row with this raw data.

Once again Battle of California had been outdone, but the staff here was confused as to just why that might be. We're the most  foul-mouthed fucking group of fucks that ever did fuck, uttering more fucks than you can shake a fuck-stick at, yet here we are being out-fucked. How is it possible?

We started to think about this. Was there a gap in our methodology? We thought real fucking hard about it, and many fucks later we realized one obvious oversight: Unlike Battle of California, St. Louis Game Time is a real, honest-to-goodness, hardworking blog. Unlike our niche site that is largely ignored by the hire-ups (and the readers), Game Time has a regular posting schedule with numerous writers and constant content. Battle of California? Well, it took me half the month of January to do a recount of the amount of times some blogs said "Fuck" in 2014.

Battle of California just doesn't post that often. And posting schedules and content output of other SB Nation NHL sites also varies. So we decided to calculate things a little differently this year, to get a more honest ranking...

Advanced Potty Mouth Rankings

Here are the total numbers of times the word "fuck" has appeared at least once in an article, per article written for each blog in the past year. This is the new advanced Fuck-inclusion/Article Count (FUC) Metric.

Here are this year's FUC Metrics...

Team	Blog	Articles with "fuck" in the past year	Total articles written in past year	FUC Metric ↑
Carolina Hurricanes	Canes Country	0	474	0.000
Buffalo Sabres	Die By The Blade	0	736	0.000
Arizona Coyotes	Five for Howling	0	845	0.000
New Jersey Devils	In Lou We Trust	0	797	0.000
Washington Capitals	Japers' Rink	0	984	0.000
Florida Panthers	Litter Box Cats	0	520	0.000
Nashville Predators	On the Forecheck	0	832	0.000
Columbus Blue Jackets	The Cannon	0	607	0.000
College	SBN College Hockey	1	1545	0.001
Dallas Stars	Defending Big D	1	1459	0.001
Pittsburgh Penguins	Pensburgh	1	825	0.001
Ottawa Senators	Silver Seven	1	777	0.001
Tampa Bay Lightning	Raw Charge	1	701	0.001
Winnipeg Jets	Arctic Ice Hockey	2	1019	0.002
New York Rangers	Blueshirt Banter	2	962	0.002
Chicago Blackhawks	Second City Hockey	4	1010	0.004
New York Islanders	Lighthouse Hockey	5	959	0.005
Edmonton Oilers	Copper and Blue	4	597	0.007
Montreal Canadiens	Eyes on the Prize	14	1848	0.008
Minnesota Wild	Hockey Wilderness	11	1303	0.008
Anaheim Ducks	Anaheim Calling	7	616	0.011
Philadelphia Flyers	Broadstreet Hockey	12	1021	0.012
San Jose Sharks	Fear the Fin	9	488	0.018
Los Angeles Kings	Jewels from the Crown	16	678	0.024
Calgary Flames	Matchsticks and Gasoline	16	628	0.025
Detroit Red Wings	Winging it in Motown	35	1031	0.034
Boston Bruins	Stanley Cupof Chowder	50	1422	0.035
Vancouver Canucks	Nucks Misconduct	19	429	0.044
Toronto Maple Leafs	Pension Plan Puppets	26	577	0.045
Colorado Avalanche	Mile High Hockey	98	1066	0.092
St. Louis Blues	St. Louis Game Time	202	1003	0.201
California	Battle of California	110	368	0.299

Ah, it makes much more sense now.

To put it another way, this means that Battle of California said the word "fuck," at least once, in nearly 30% of all the articles written last year. St. Louis Game Time? About a measly 20%, losers.

No one else is even close. And to all of you "family-friendly" blogs who are too cowardly to drop some fuck-bombs: Grow up. It's 2015, for fuck's sake.

YOUR NEW POTTY MOUTH LEADERS...

BATTLE OF CALIFORNIA!

Thank you very fucking much.

Gameday

Oh yeah, today is a Ducks Gameday. Here's the run-down:

Maple Leafs (22 - 21) @ Ducks (27 - 16)

Pension Plan Puppets (0.045 FUC) vs. Anaheim Calling (0.011 FUC)

Wednesday, Jan 14, 2015, 7:00 PM PST

Honda Center

Prediction

Who gives a fuck?

UPDATE: This post was updated at 9:23 AM on January 14, 2015 to include one additional blog: SBN College Hockey.