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Kings Gameday: What? No Jagr?

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That joke is always topical

"Did I just poop?"
"Did I just poop?"
Ed Mulholland-USA TODAY Sports

So Tyler Toffoli doesn't have the mumps or a yeast infection or severe diarrhea. He has an enlarged spleen. That's totally normal. Turns out though, he's not the only one that's sick. Along with half of the NHL having a disease that was mostly eradicated fifty years ago, Jaromir Jagr is also missing time due to illness apparently. While Jagr could be sick with any number of things, all of them potentially life threatening given his fragile nature, I have some guesses what Jaromir is actually up to.

  • Naps
  • Waiting for his grandkids to come by or call
  • Watching Matlock
  • I actually have never watched Matlock. Old people actually watch that, right?
  • Yelling at Peter Harrold about the good old days with Pittsburgh
  • Making Peter Harrold watch Sudden Death with him for the 78th time
  • Having Peter Harrold update his personal IMDB page for him
  • Blacking out from PTS upon recalling his time in Dallas, Texas
  • Eating applesauce
  • What I'm trying to say is that Jaromir Jagr is old and I pretty much exhausted that point.

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The Kings won again! What a surprise. They didn't score a ton, and the fourth line looked more like Quest for Fire than actual hockey players, but a win is a win. The Kings managed to sandwich fifty eight minutes of crap between two decent minutes, and maybe that flies with the Maple Leafs. Actually it could fly with the Devils, too. Well, only three months more of Andy Andreoff and Jordan Nolan, so at least there's a timetable.

Prediction: Kings lose 3-2 with two goals by Williams.