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Kings Gameday: Fixing the problems

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Another foolproof plan

"Gwuh?"
"Gwuh?"
Jayne Kamin-Oncea-USA TODAY Sports

Well. It was a good run. The Kings however...are finished. I don't mean that figuratively. I mean their season is over right now. They don't play anymore games. Ever again. Show is over. Unless they turn their shit circus play around. You see, defending Stanley Cup Champions are supposed to play with a hint of...let's say talent. The Kings look like a whole bucket of sucky sucks. Lucky for them, I'm here to help.

Where to begin?

Let's start with planning for the future, and getting rid of Mike Richards and his ridiculous contract. The problem is you can't get rid of his contract alone without taking on an equally stupid contract. Or you can package him with another player that isn't paid a crazy stupid amount of money who plays on the fourth line. It's unfortunate, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

So you trade Richards and Jeff Carter.

This is perfect because you can finally get rid of Richards and get a return that doesn't suck and you don't have to worry about upsetting Jeffy. With the freed up cap space the Kings will be able to re-sign key free agents. Namely Robyn Regehr and Jarret Stoll. Plus, we all know the Kings need defense, which even further necessitates this very rational and reasonable move. Now the question becomes which super awesome* defenseman do you trade for?

*defenseman not super nor awesome since Mike Richards is included in this trade

They have to be right handed so they can play with Regehr, and the team has to be able to take on a lot of salary. The perfect fit: Tyler Myers! He's huge, is right handed, and has a stupid contract also. Then, the Kings can get rid of their excess left handed defensemen to address their most glaring issue: the shootout.

After they flip Jake Muzzin for super hero T.J. Oshie, the Kings are set for the playoffs. They'll be rid of the dead weight, free to sign super free agents like Martin Erat, and have solved both the defense and shootout problems. Next they just have to ditch that coverage blowing, shootout missing loser Anze Kopitar, but that's for another post.

flames preview

Nope. Still haven't changed that preview.

Prediction: Kings make these exact changes and win every game every until the end of time