A List of Things Martin Brodeur Is Doing Instead of Showing Up to Practice:
- Sailing a boat to Tahiti, solo, to commune with the sea.
- Baking cookies with real lard.
- Eating said cookies in one sitting.
- Leaving heavy breathing voicemails on Dominik Hasek's phone.
- Waiting impatiently at Lambert Airport. Still.
- Compiling his Best of 1997 music list
- World Juniors (not a hockey thing)
- Doing that terrible 1920's Reporter bullshit at NFL Media Days (not on purpose, he's old, you see)
- Dunk contest (cookies, again)
- Sending 100 pizzas to Ed Belfour's house.
- Driving 25 in a 50 with his god damned turn signal on.