Seals Gameday: Now All of My Friends Are Dead

(Note: the following article was found deep in the BOC archives and apparently never posted. The date on the draft is April 4th, 1976, but the author information is missing. It is being published here for the first time)

Well, I guess that's it everyone. Looks like today's game will be the last in the history of the California Golden Seals.

Needless to say I'm broken up about this. I've put a lot of blood, sweat and tears into the Oakland Seals/California Seals/Modesto 59ers/San Francisco Hockey Athletic Giants/California Golden Seals franchise and to see the team go out like this is just heartbreaking. We've had great players here like Carol Vadnais, Dennis Maruk, Wayne Merrick, Len Frig, Gary Messenhoffersetter, Fritzs Torkendicken and Jean-Pierre-Phillippe-Andre Pflug, but we never could put it all together.

I truly believed in my heart that the Seals would bring the Stanley Cup to Northern California. Turns out the only time I saw it was when my copy of the Hockey News arrived (usually two weeks late).

The rumors have the Seals folding altogether or worse, moving to Cleveland. Hockey in Ohio? Give me a break. Where to next, Dallas? New Jersey?

Worst of all is that tonight's game is against our most hated rivals, the Los Angeles Kings. To know that the Seals are leaving while the shitty Kings stay in California is fucking awful.

Fuck you, Kings. Just fuck right off with this shit. Why do you get to stay? Well, have fun with Mr. TV Station Big Shot Jerk Creep Cooke, who can't tell the difference between blue and purple. People only go to your games because The Gross Worstern Forum is cleaner than the bus station and they might have a chance at stealing shoes and towels from the Lakers. Nobody likes you.

Losing the Seals will be a huge blow to California. There will never be another team in the Bay Area after this failure. And once the Kings fold because they're hot fucking garbage on ice, Southern California will prove it can't even support a single hockey team because everybody is too busy taking in Disneyland to give a shit.


Los Angeles Kings vs California Golden Seals

7 pm

Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum

UHF channel 49

Sad Super 8 Film For Me to Cry Over


The Kings never win a Cup ever. Oh, and St. Louis never wins one either. Fuck them, too.

(Note: looks like the Seals won that last game 5-3. So, uh, congrats.)

This FanPost was posted by a fan, and it probably sucks and is dumb.

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