Ducks Gameday: Dr Pepper Rules

As is tradition here at Battle of California whenever two teams from the best state in the union face off against each other, today's posts have a theme behind them. Today's theme discusses Dr Pepper.

Stace has veritably bad taste. She's a Sharks fan, she's marrying a Kings fan, and she's an Arby's enthusiast. She even hates peanuts. It's no surprise then that she also has god awful taste when it comes to soft drinks. Our "friend" Stace doesn't like Dr Pepper, because she's a monster.

I drink a lot of soda. Ever since I was a kid. So much that it's shocking that I'm not an obese diabetic. At any rate, I learned at a very young age that Dr Pepper was like no other. I don't have anything against Coke or Pepsi, but a mainstream soda that doesn't try to be another boring cola (or worthless decaffeinated root beer or some lemon/lime horseshit) is something to be celebrated.

And what a marvel it is! Its spiced, understated cherry-vanilla flavor is complete bliss, and the market agrees: Dr Pepper hold over 16% of the soda market share, which roughly equates to a billion dollars an hour.

Rumor has it that Dr Pepper once contained prune juice, aiding its consumers in more comfortable and predictable shitting. Everybody loves to poop, even Stace. Dr Pepper is not just delicious, but helpful.

It's hard to state how meaningful Dr Pepper is to me. So I'll let this bright, passionate young lady speak for me...

The only thing better than Dr Pepper is Mr. Pibb.

God bless America, and god bless the beverage industry.

Gameday

Ducks (32 - 16) @ Sharks (25 - 23)

Thursday, Jan 29, 2015, 7:00 PM PST

SAP Center

Prediction

Anaheim drinks too much Dr Pepper, gets a tummy ache. Butthole Sharks win 5-4. Joe Thornton does not score a cock trick. Corey Perry, however, does.