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Sharks Gameday: Hockey City

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Fatties vs nerds

By Get'rDunn
11 comments / new
Hey, I used this photo last time
Hey, I used this photo last time
Dennis Wierzbicki-USA TODAY Sports

Greetings again, Sharkie people. It is I, your one true lord and savior, Get'rDunn. Stanky Stace is presumably recovering from her bachelorette party, and from having Spade strip for her and her friends. You can expect her back three years from now after some lengthy therapy. Anyways, I'm here to educate you all properly. Occasionally, it is good to learn from debate and not just taking my word as law (though you still should). Today we will have such a debate, though it will basically be me talking to myself. Our topic today is

WHO IS THE BETTER HOCKEY CITY?

Chicago!

Pros:

  • It's cold and has ice!
  • They've actually won stuff!
  • Players with guts!
  • Aggressive off the ice too, especially with cabbies and sorority girls!
  • Their coach has a superior mustache!
  • Self appointed superiority!

Cons:

  • Excitement banned from their games due to fans' heart conditions.
  • Overly active participation in All-Star and outdoor games seems like they are trying really hard to over-compensate for something.
  • Johnny Oduya still not that hot.

San Francisco Diego Bernardino Jose!

Pros:

  • Ability to piss off Jeremy Roenick to irrational degrees!
  • They're not Anaheim, so...!
  • California!
  • Far nicer climate for outdoor games!
  • Better leadership with Captain John Scott!

Cons:

  • Unfortunate addiction to disappointment.
  • Fans rejection of super hockey analyst Kevin Kurz in favor of boring stats and spreadsheets like a bunch of nerds playing Dungeons and Dragons is helping destroy hockey.
  • Suicide booths installed for playoffs a tad controversial, despite popularity.
  • Inevitable relocation to Seattle kind of makes this whole debate pointless.
  • Logan Couture.

sharks chicago

Doesn't Stace post a video or tattoo or something? Well here's the best tweet about the Sharks' best player

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>JOHN SCOTT FOR PRIME MINISTER <a href="http://t.co/atyqoZy3Ao">pic.twitter.com/atyqoZy3Ao</a></p>&mdash; Mike FAIL (@mikeFAIL) <a href="https://twitter.com/mikeFAIL/status/561313323870728193">January 31, 2015</a></blockquote>
<script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

And here's a music video to get you pumped!

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/_r0n9Dv6XnY" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Prediction: Los Angeles is the best hockey city! Wait, that's not a prediction. That's a fact.

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