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Hooray, it's the first Ducks game of the season, and it's against state rival San Jose Sharks! That means it's time for another pair of themed posts from your favorite California hockey bloggers.
Let's see what hilarious theme we came up with this time...
... okay ...
Trash bag brands? Seriously? Christ, we're really scraping the bottom of the barrel here.
Well, if there's one thing I know a lot about, it's garbage. I've been wallowing in it with you folks since 2012 now, and I've learned a lot of things along the way.
When you're dealing with large amounts of absolute trash (such as San Jose, heyooooo), you need a bag that you can rely on. And when you think reliable bag, there's only one brand that comes to mind...
Holy shit, now that's a fucking commercial. They don't make them like that anymore. If you're not immediately inclined to go spend your hard earned cash on truckloads of Hefty trash bags, you're either an asshole or unamerican or both.
Or maybe you're just looking for something a little more... sexy. Well, my friend, you got it! Because Hefty is dripping with sex...
Hubba hubba.
Okay, well... good talk everyone.
What to Expect Tonight
Failure.
Even if the Sharks weren't hyped up coming off a 5-1 win over the Los Angeles Kings on Wednesday night, there's not much hope for Anaheim. Let's look at every Ducks season opener game in franchise history.
I've bolded the wins.
1993-94 season: | Fri Oct 8 1993 | at Ana | Detroit 7, Anaheim 2 |
1995-96 season: | Mon Oct 9 1995 | at WiJ | Winnipeg 4, Anaheim 3 |
1996-97 season: | Sat Oct 5 1996 | at Tor | Toronto 4, Anaheim 1 |
1997-98 season: | Fri Oct 3 1997 | at Van | Vancouver 3, Anaheim 2 |
1998-99 season: | Sat Oct 10 1998 | at Wsh | Washington 1, Anaheim 0 |
1999-00 season: | Sat Oct 2 1999 | at Dal | Dallas 2, Anaheim 0 |
2000-01 season: | Fri Oct 6 2000 | at Ana | Anaheim 3, Minnesota 1 |
2001-02 season: | Thu Oct 4 2001 | at Bos | Boston 4, Anaheim 2 |
2002-03 season: | Thu Oct 10 2002 | at StL | Anaheim 4, St Louis 3 |
2003-04 season: | Wed Oct 8 2003 | at Dal | Dallas 4, Anaheim 1 |
2004-05 lockout | :( | ||
2005-06 season: | Wed Oct 5 2005 | at Chi | Anaheim 5, Chicago 3 |
2006-07 season: | Fri Oct 6 2006 | at Ana | Anaheim 4, Los Angeles 3 |
2007-08 season: | Wed Oct 3 2007 | at Det | Detroit 3, Anaheim 2 (SO) |
2008-09 season: | Thu Oct 9 2008 | at SJ | San Jose 4, Anaheim 1 |
2009-10 season: | Sat Oct 3 2009 | at Ana | San Jose 4, Anaheim 1 |
2010-11 season: | Fri Oct 8 2010 | at Det | Detroit 4, Anaheim 0 |
2011-12 season: | Fri Oct 7 2011 | at Buf | Buffalo 4, Anaheim 1 |
20 |
Sat Jan 19 2013 | at Van | Anaheim 7, Vancouver 3 |
2013-14 season: | Wed Oct 2 2013 | at Col | Colorado 6, Anaheim 1 |
2014-15 season: | Thu Oct 9 2014 | at Pit | Pittsburgh 6, Anaheim 4 |
For those having trouble counting, that's 5 wins in 20 seasons. Ouch.
Forgive me for not being too excited.
Gameday
Ducks @ Sharks
Saturday, Oct 10, 2015, 7:30 PM PDT
SAP Center at San Jose - San Jose, CA
Prediction
Ducks are not glad to lose 3-1 to a hefty pile of garbage.
Inspirational Music
To take up space in my gameday posts this season, so that I don't have to write so much, you'll be getting a glimpse of my playlist while I write this garbage.
Today I'm listening to: The Front Bottoms - "Laugh Till I Cry"
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