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Ducks Gameday: Hefty Competition

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Let's take out the trash. Ducks @ Sharks.

Hooray, it's the first Ducks game of the season, and it's against state rival San Jose Sharks! That means it's time for another pair of themed posts from your favorite California hockey bloggers.

Let's see what hilarious theme we came up with this time...

... okay ...

Trash bag brands? Seriously? Christ, we're really scraping the bottom of the barrel here.

Well, if there's one thing I know a lot about, it's garbage. I've been wallowing in it with you folks since 2012 now, and I've learned a lot of things along the way.

When you're dealing with large amounts of absolute trash (such as San Jose, heyooooo), you need a bag that you can rely on. And when you think reliable bag, there's only one brand that comes to mind...

Holy shit, now that's a fucking commercial. They don't make them like that anymore. If you're not immediately inclined to go spend your hard earned cash on truckloads of Hefty trash bags, you're either an asshole or unamerican or both.

Or maybe you're just looking for something a little more... sexy. Well, my friend, you got it! Because Hefty is dripping with sex...

Hubba hubba.

Okay, well... good talk everyone.

What to Expect Tonight

Failure.

Even if the Sharks weren't hyped up coming off a 5-1 win over the Los Angeles Kings on Wednesday night, there's not much hope for Anaheim. Let's look at every Ducks season opener game in franchise history.

I've bolded the wins.

1993-94 season: Fri Oct 8 1993 at Ana Detroit 7, Anaheim 2
1995-96 season: Mon Oct 9 1995 at WiJ Winnipeg 4, Anaheim 3
1996-97 season: Sat Oct 5 1996 at Tor Toronto 4, Anaheim 1
1997-98 season: Fri Oct 3 1997 at Van Vancouver 3, Anaheim 2
1998-99 season: Sat Oct 10 1998 at Wsh Washington 1, Anaheim 0
1999-00 season: Sat Oct 2 1999 at Dal Dallas 2, Anaheim 0
2000-01 season: Fri Oct 6 2000 at Ana Anaheim 3, Minnesota 1
2001-02 season: Thu Oct 4 2001 at Bos Boston 4, Anaheim 2
2002-03 season: Thu Oct 10 2002 at StL Anaheim 4, St Louis 3
2003-04 season: Wed Oct 8 2003 at Dal Dallas 4, Anaheim 1
2004-05 lockout :(
2005-06 season: Wed Oct 5 2005 at Chi Anaheim 5, Chicago 3
2006-07 season: Fri Oct 6 2006 at Ana Anaheim 4, Los Angeles 3
2007-08 season: Wed Oct 3 2007 at Det Detroit 3, Anaheim 2 (SO)
2008-09 season: Thu Oct 9 2008 at SJ San Jose 4, Anaheim 1
2009-10 season: Sat Oct 3 2009 at Ana San Jose 4, Anaheim 1
2010-11 season: Fri Oct 8 2010 at Det Detroit 4, Anaheim 0
2011-12 season: Fri Oct 7 2011 at Buf Buffalo 4, Anaheim 1
2012-13 season: Sat Jan 19 2013 at Van Anaheim 7, Vancouver 3
2013-14 season: Wed Oct 2 2013 at Col Colorado 6, Anaheim 1
2014-15 season: Thu Oct 9 2014 at Pit Pittsburgh 6, Anaheim 4

For those having trouble counting, that's 5 wins in 20 seasons. Ouch.

Forgive me for not being too excited.

Gameday

Ducks @ Sharks

Saturday, Oct 10, 2015, 7:30 PM PDT

SAP Center at San Jose - San Jose, CA

Prediction

Ducks are not glad to lose 3-1 to a hefty pile of garbage.

Inspirational Music

To take up space in my gameday posts this season, so that I don't have to write so much, you'll be getting a glimpse of my playlist while I write this garbage.

Today I'm listening to: The Front Bottoms - "Laugh Till I Cry"