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Kings Gameday: Baseball of California

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Let's all get depressed in Los Angeles

Happier, far more confusing times
Happier, far more confusing times
Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

So on this past Saturday some of you may have watched the Dodgers play. That is, you may have seen them play if you had the fortitude to put up with that following the Friday where they failed to hit at all, and meanwhile the Kings were getting ran over by the Arizona Coyotes. Yes, it is a glorious time for sports in Los Angeles.

However, something magical happened. Old former productive player, Chase Utley, rediscovered his touch. He helped his team. He was productive. He nearly killed a guy. Actually:

The poor idiot flying through the air is some guy on the Mets named Tejada. He broke his leg. What a damn loser. Utley was just attempting to slide into left-center field like any sane person in society. Anyways, go ahead and watch this for another few hours. It's really quite beautiful actually. And how do you break your leg on this? Is this guy Samuel L. Jackson from Unbreakable? I must have done that a few thousand times while drunk and I woke up perfectly fine. Toughen up ya pansy. What is this? Soccer? (Utley would have been red cared probably).

In either case the Dodgers are down 2-1 in their series and I will be watching that tonight instead, and likely hurling my whole television out a window. Probably with my Wii also since I will forget to unplug it/be pissed off at FIFA 13 for cheating.

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Did you want me to talk about hockey? Fuck that. The Kings have been awful. In two games they've been outscored 9-2 or something like that. No, we aren't talking about them. Quit asking. Sheesh.

Prediction: The Dodgers lose and I get really, really drunk and blame everything on Chase Utley.