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Sharks Gameday: Bedeviled

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The Sharks visit the New Jersey Devils for a game most of us will likely forget in a couple days.

El Diablo!
El Diablo!
Bruce Bennett/Getty Images

Unlike a lot of east coast teams that have won Cups while I've been a fan, I've never honestly hated the Devils. They were kind enough to sign Sharks legend Ryane Clowe after his brief stint across the river, for one. For two, they beat both the Red Wings and the Stars to win Stanley Cups, which felt great for a Sharks fan in the '90s. For three, they really have great uniforms and logos, despite it being simple and font-heavy. Take note, Anaheim Ducks.

But this season just seems weird. Lou Lamoriello sure took off out the back door and fled the country like somebody was about to arrest him, and he basically WAS the Devils for decades. Seeing him as some sort of back office executive in Toronto is like if Oakland A's GM Billy Beane suddenly decided to go work as an assistant GM for the Yankees a month before spring training. Looking through this roster is not helping at all. Raise your hands if you knew Andy Greene was their captain? Nobody? Ok. Oh, and he's 32 years old. Patrick Elias is still around, thank god. A good chunk of their team appears to be the sons of some former NHLer: Stefan Matteau, Eric Gelinas, Reid Boucher. This is a video game-generated player roster come to life, plus Cory Schneider.

But let's get the heart of the matter: if you woke up and saw the New Jersey Devils mascot NJ Devil hovering over your bedside at night, how afraid would you be?

NJ Devil

NJ Devil's stats

The blue eyes are a nice touch. According to Wikipedia, the legend their mascot is based off of was a child born in 1735 to a witch and Satan himself, who killed the midwife that helped birth it, the asshole, after turning from a human baby into some sort of goat-headed winged abomination. It hung out in the Pine Barrens for a while, but then in 1740 a priest exorcised the New Jersey Devil for 100 years. So the next time some idiot extols the wisdom of our Founding Fathers, remember that they were born into a world where this sort of nonsense was commonplace.

Despite the occult origins, I'm going to say I would only moderately shit my pants if this thing hovered over my sleeping face. NJ seems a lot more like Guilfoyle than anybody actually threatening.

Guilfoyle

Another guy kind of into Satan

Were you aware?

That Sharks coach Kevin Spacey used to coach the New Jersey Devils?

Hey, how are the Sharks doing?

Pretty fucking fantastic, how are you? If you're the Kings and Ducks, the answer to that question is "awful" and it makes me laugh and laugh and laugh. It's only 3 games into the season, and for sure the Sharks are going to hit the skids sometime down the road, but for the moment....

glowing butterflies

The soul is at peace.

Ahh. Feels good. Oh, and the Dodgers are eliminated. Namaste.

Logan Couture was seen on crutches leaving practice:

I'll wait a moment for you to imagine your best "Couture is a horse" joke here. Here's mine:

Sharks @ Devils
4:30 PM Pacific
A parking lot somewhere in Newark

RIP Carey.