Kings Gameday: I Hate Sports

Sports are the worst fucking thing ever invented. They make no sense. They make normal, rational people into raving lunatics who get loud and violent. You will pray to a god you never believed in to make your team win. They make you have emotion for the first time in years. You will hate people you have known and liked for years when they give you shit or say "it's just a game". And you have no idea why!

You don't really know the people playing. You have no real investment in the participants. Aside from emotionally of course, which makes no sense either. Yet, you still have yourself offering up your eldest child to Satan if he will let Enrique Hernandez finally hit a baseball out of the infield. Or you swear you will become a monk if Crosby would hit a field goal, then immediately go back on that vow because a 35 yard kick is pretty much automatic for an NFL kicker. You will swear you love a man you never met before, even though you're not remotely gay either, just because he scored an overtime goal (hi Alec!). The main point being you will suffer to no end for sports.

And for what? Inevitable letdowns. That's what sports are all about, Charlie Brown. So enjoy. Prepared to be sad.

Oh yeah the Kings play Minnesota today.

Prediction: Like, whatever, man.