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Sharks Gameday: Ranger Danger

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The Sharks take on some rangers for some reason.

The New York Rangers
The New York Rangers

Why are there so many teams named after rangers? Off the top of my head there are:

  • New York Rangers
  • Texas Rangers, like Walker
  • Queens Park Rangers, an English soccer club
  • Rangers F.C., a Scottish soccer club

But then I looked at Wikipedia, and there are 48 different soccer teams alone that use "ranger" in their name. There are 7 baseball teams, 6 Gaelic football teams, and 13 hockey teams in the list. Despite this abundance of ranger team names I noticed that practically none of these teams depict what kind of ranger they are supposed to be. Park ranger? Military guy? Cowboy roaming the land to rid it of outlaws? Power? Aragorn? Night Ranger?

The vast majority of rangers I've encountered have been nice, nature-loving sorts that have given me good advice. I definitely wasn't intimidated by their fierceness, or inspired by their bravery or anything. It's definitely not a profession you should name a team after, I don't think, and you should especially never make a video game simulating being a park ranger in heavy makeup.

Ranger Simulation

A heart-pounding action thriller that Megalodon probably likes

Good job, dorks. Now I can feel the adrenaline rush of taking day-use fees, leading interpretive nature walks, and explaining to morons that bears are dangerous and shouldn't be hand-fed Sun Chips.

Sharks needs more Martins

With Al Stalock starting, as soon as Paul Martin went down with an injury, the Sharks sucked, and Brent Burns in particular was awful. This leads me to the only logical conclusion: the more Martins that play for the Sharks, the better. Martin St. Louis and Martin Gelinas are old as fuck and retired, but thems the breaks. Get on that, Doug Wilson. Oh, and change the name of the team to the San Jose Martens.

Pine Marten

We need more of these things

Sharks @ Rangers
4:00 PM Pacific

Prediction: Like every trip I've taken there, the Sharks are kind of sick of New York after being there more than 3 days. Martin Jones starts again, but the defense sucks, and he has to make 40 saves only to lose.