Kings Gameday: Originality is Best

Back to the Future 2 is a god damn mess. And for whatever reason everyone took it as scripture from on high like it was Nostradamus. The past few days, it was impossible to not hear about the sequel even though the original movie is far superior. "Oh because this is the day Marty goes to the future," you gargle as you suck on rocks for sustenance. Well guess what? That movie also had the Cubs winning the World Series, whereas in reality they just got swept out of the playoffs.

The sequel involves Michael J. Fox and the bad guy from Who Framed Roger Rabbit? going into the future, then back to the past, then back to the original movie, then into the third movie which I'm not going to get into. Technically, there was no future going back to. Marty went into the future, and then back to the past, and then back to the more sensible* plot.

*Sensible being pretty loose considering it's a time traveling movie series with a car that is a total piece of shit and Michael J. Fox cross-dressing as a daughter of himself.

The first movie makes way more sense, is totally original, and is subtly brilliant. Plus it actually involves going BACK to the future, not going to the future and then having to go back from it. Marty winds up in the past accidentally because of terrorists. He makes his parents not failures. He steals rock and roll away from poor Chuck Berry. Sure the movie is a little inconsistent at times, but in the end things wind up perfect for the McFlys and Doc Brown who doesn't wind up dead. Sort of like the Kings, who play inconsistently but also have won a couple of championships.

The sequel however promises hover-boards, drones, computer glasses thingies, and video calls. Hover-boards pretty much don't work, and you have to be filthy rich to have one. Drones are borderline illegal at this point. Google glass or whatever the fuck it is, is stupid and makes you look like a douche. Video calls work though, but the most we've really accomplished with that is chat roulette where you have a 50/50 chance that the person showing up on the other end is a dude jerking off. We fucked up society trying to emulate a movie from 1989. The eighties are proving to be our downfall. It's Ronald Reagan and cocaine being popular all over again.

Pretty clearly, the Sharks identify with the sequel heavily. There's the false hope they offer to their fans only to fail entirely. It's a big deal and seems popular when you talk about the future, but, as mentioned, everything sucks and it winds up in disappointment once you get there in reality (October 21st was a pretty lousy day). You have the overpriced hunk of crap with hover-boards and Patrick Marleau. The effective yet semi illegal drones and Joe Thornton. The douchetastic Google glass that is Raffi Torres that only real shitheels like. Then lastly, the disgusting public masturbating with Logan Couture. This is a movie that failed to deliver, and the Sharks are a team that...well, fails to deliver.

That is arguably the worst shark I have drawn but oh well. The Kings meanwhile have two games and are therefore champions again. I also can't wait for Back to the Future Part 4 where they go to the stone-age and bring back Milan Lucic.

Prediction: Lucic scores a goal! Kings lose 2-1.