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Sharks Gameday: "Sharks fans should...."

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An incomplete list of things I should be doing, according to people on Twitter.

Frederick Breedon/Getty Images

There's lots of ways you can make me feel bad, as a Sharks fan. You can tell me it's likely that my all-time favorite Sharks players either never won (Owen Nolan) or probably never will (Joe Thornton, Patrick Marleau) win a championship. You can point out how close the best teams we've had were to being truly dangerous in the postseason if they had been more bold in their roster decisions. You can catalog the times that the Sharks management has circled the wagons about their own rightness in the face of a changing NHL and obvious problems, and how that might just kill the franchise. You can just post pictures of grown adults doing the "chomp."

What I've never understood is the idea that I or anyone else should feel bad about rooting for the team they follow, with the exception of something heinous like a racist mascot or an organization that shelters sex offenders.

So I searched on Twitter for the phrase "sharks fan should". I only looked at comments from people who were not Sharks fans, and am rating their comments based on how narcissistic they are. The scale is from 1-5 Jared Letos. My comments in [square brackets].

Sharks fans should...

...chant 'beaten by L.A.' [this is from a comment by Kings announcer Bob "8 inches of shaft in his hands" Miller]

Leto 4

[This is never going to happen, friend.]

...stick to the other major sports

Leto 2

[That's not how fandom works.]

...not be talking!!

Leto 1

[I can dig. Shut the fuck up, everyone!]

...he happy[sic]. At least they don't have to be let down in the playoffs now.

Leto 3

[That's not how the playoffs work, friend.]

...just give up lol

Leto 2

[You have no idea.]

...really not be criticizing Nashville for an empty arena tonight.

Leto 1

[Nashville sucks, and they should probably fill their arena with something other than young earth creationists.]

...be committed! Straight to the nuthouse!

Leto 3

[Totally! We are sooooo wacky!]

...be ashamed of themselves.

Leto 2

[This never works.]

...get over Brian Campbell, already [possibly in reference to a Stace post]

Leto 1

[Yeah, pretty much.]

...hate their team choking every year. Lol

Leto 1

[You have no idea.]

...be like Cubs or Cavs fans and embrace it imo

Leto 2

[Never do this, people.]

...die I hope the SAP Center gets fucking NUKED

Leto 4

[We all will, friend.]

...hate hockey at this point lol

Leto 2

[The NHL is doing a bang up job ensuring this happens.]

...keep their mouth shut. they have no right to talk.

Leto 3

[Fun.]

...get a chance to get in a pie battle with that mascot [ed. Bailey] anyway.

Leto 1

[When it comes to pie fights, I am always down as fuck.]

...start yelling "Be LA" so they can win a Cup and stop choking every year

Leto 5

[You guys, you just don't get this "rivalry" shit, do you?]

...be thanking Dustin Brown for getting that Hertl hack out and making space for a real hockey stud, Mike Brown [ed. this is from Dunn, in case you couldn't tell]

Leto 5

[Dumber than a sack of Yahoo commenters, this one.]

...be used to leaving after a loss.

Leto 1

[We'd probably leave Staples Center after a win as well, it's not a hotel or zoned for residents.]

...fake jerk off instead of the chomping thing

Hey, that's actually an amazing suggestion. It also gets the coveted...

Couture 5

...5 Couture rating!

Nashville @ Sharks
7:30 PM Pacific

Prediction: Sharks fans fake jerk off instead of the chomping thing.