clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Kings Gameday: I hate you

New, 5 comments

I've always hated you

Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

I hate the Los Angeles Kings. They are the worst franchise I have ever seen play the game of hockey. I hate everyone who likes this team. It is the perfect unholy blend of arrogance, boredom, and idiocy. Writing about this team makes me want to hit myself in the balls with a cactus. The world would be better off without them, and I hate the team and its fans.

Okay, let's see if anyone reads this far now. Because I don't think the Kings are the worst franchise ever. That would be the Minnesota Wild or St. Louis Blues. And even within the past decade or so the worst team known in existence in that time frame has to to be the Edmonton Oilers, and their fans shit in each others mouths when the draft lottery annually comes around. Red Wings fans are probably the most arrogant bunch out there, but the Canadiens and Blackhawks fan bases could probably make a strong contest of it all. The main point being, the first paragraph is clearly a gross exaggeration that I don't actually mean.

We all know the team we need to be hating on today is Detroit, too. And I would if I actually thought they were relevant anymore, but they haven't been since their greatest player, Kris Draper, retired. No one cares about them these days. They only exist to get you paying attention to the Tampa Bay Lightning starting their own playoff run, using the Wings as a stepping stone. The hate just isn't there at this point.

However, on my last post regarding Mike Richards and the Flyers, there were some Kings fans who had some trouble with basic reading. They honed in on one sentence meant to be a hook, and ignored everything else. They ignored the part about how the Kings won Cups and Flyers are a total mess. They didn't comprehend the whole post was about how bad the Flyers still are, and even with Mike Richards being a total washout the Kings are fine. And they outright failed to read the parts saying the best the Flyers gave us was terrible. Maybe they only read the headline. Maybe they are just idiots.

In any case, let's see what happens today. I hope nothing because this is even more obviously a ploy to see what readers freak out. It is an overt attempt to attract idiots and make fun of them. If you show up in the comments section upset over the first paragraph you will have proven yourself to be a reactionary dipshit. I will probably call you that in the comments too. Please don't do that.


red wings preview

The season keeps on going, and there's a game today.

That's essentially all that is going on with the Kings so far. It's been pretty straight forward, and not a lot of changes have been taking place. Cool, I guess?

The Whoa! Prediction: Justin Abdelkader decides mid-game he rather be a throaty pop-singer and becomes Justin Adelekader.