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Sharks Gameday: Patty Cake

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More facts about Patrick Marleau in celebration of 1000 of the awkwardest points any NHLer has ever scored.

The best player in the world and also Sidney Crosby
The best player in the world and also Sidney Crosby
Matt Kincaid/Getty Images

The Sharks have rolled to 5 straight road wins after looking kind of like dogshit or fortunate dogshit on their last home stand. They complete yet another goddamn weekend back-to-back against the Blue Jackets this evening. For anyone at home counting, that's 6 games in 10 days, and sometimes my arms and back hurt from mining all this valuable content for you ingrates deep within the content mines. Such is my struggle.

marleau noise

Fortunately, Patrick Marleau scored his 1000th point last night, so we can safely ignore this upcoming awful game against Columbus, a horrible city populated entirely by genocide enthusiasts. Instead: Patrick Marleau Facts!

  • Patrick Marleau's low-key celebration last night was only because he's REALLY looking forward to scoring 1024 points and bragging about it on Slashdot.
  • Marleau's idea of celebrating by poppin' bottles in the club was dashed when nobody at Chuck E. Cheese had a bottle opener for his lukewarm Martinelli's, and they were closed and vacuuming up anyway.
  • Patty's awkward return stick-tap against the boards in response to his teammates stick-tapping was actually because he wanted to thank Haystack, his imaginary friend who is there with him on every shift chanting "Go Patrick!"
  • After his second assist last night, there was a part of him that was disappointed his teammates weren't as excited as he was about his point total being a palindrome.
  • To prepare for scoring 1000 points, Marleau very carefully reviewed this Wikipedia entry.
  • After the game, an exhausted Patrick Marleau began to write thank you notes to every player who either scored or assisted on every one of his points.

Sharks @ Blue Jackets
4:00 PM Pacific

Prediction: Things are going to get awkward.