The Kings had their Halloween party this year, and by all accounts it looks like it was a vast improvement over last year's. Because they went with an 80s theme! And everyone loves the 80s. I think. I was only born in 1988, and the closest thing I got to tasting the 80s was a mullet I rocked up until I was four. But that's not the point. The 80s were a bizarre bunch of years, but they did give us a few great things. Mainly movies.
So I'm going to just start comparing Kings players to 80s movies. There's not really a clean segue into this so...yeah. Whatever. Here we go!
Anze Kopitar is RoboCop
The iron man and hero we need. Also about to be really expensive.
Jeff Carter is Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
Sort of overlooked given everything else that came out, but really great and creative.
Tyler Toffoli is The Empire Strikes Back
We were excited of what this installment of Toffoli/Star Wars was going to give us, but damn it was better than we hoped.
Drew Doughty is Raging Bull
An emotional hurricane about a gifted yet self destructive talent. He gets really fat too.
Jake Muzzin is Blade Runner
Nerds will be quick to point how great it is, but everyone else is kinda underwhelmed
Jonathan Quick is Fast Times as Ridgemont High
Is it an elite comedy? It's a tossup. Quick is pretty much Spicoli also.
Alec Martinez is Top Gun
Memorable, and halfway decent. Also fairly homoerotic.
Dustin Brown is Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
Stupid as hell but you love it anyways unless you're an uptight jerk.
Milan Lucic is Caddyshack
You know you shouldn't like it because of how low-brow it is but you can't help it. Also there is a scene of eating poop.
Marian Gaborik is Ghostbusters
Was pretty great at first, but the premise is getting kind of old and rehashed.
Trevor Lewis is E.T.
Really not that special, but FUCK YOU HE IS SPECIAL.
Tanner Pearson is The Temple of Doom
Kind of was hoping for more this go around after looking great before, and have been a little let down.
Brayden McNabb is Big
Much like Tom Hanks, McNabb is seeing his role grow and it's been fun. He is also big.
Nick Shore is Heathers
No one knows a damn thing about this.
Kyle Clifford is Beetlejuice
No, I mean he is literally Beetlejuice I'm pretty sure.
Christian Ehrhoff is The Lost Boys
It started off pretty great but ends up rather meh. Also Corey Feldman makes you want to concuss yourself.
Not that good yet for whatever reason people dub him as "important".
Poor guy finds himself to be the target of Corsi bullies, but under Mr. Miyagi/Darryl Sutter he perseveres.
Andy Andreoff is Any Which Way You Can
This sucks but had fighting and there is a monkey.
Jordan Weal is Labyrinth
A weird cult like following doesn't make older critics like it any more so give it up I guess.
Jamie McBain is Mannequin
The story of an unconventional love between a man/blogger and a mannequin/a bottom pairing fringe NHL defenseman.
Jeff Schultz is Poltergeist
You get terrified watching it and just want it to be over.
All he wants is to be given a chance to play in a game/dance.
He will probably swap places with Quick as regular starter once the Kings hit their winter meltdown.
Darryl Sutter is The Shining
A tale of insanity and disturbing images.
Dean Lombardi is Platoon
There is war and it is very sad.
Get'r Dunn is The Elephant Man
A grotesque creature you can't help but feel sorry for.
The Kings had their seven game winning streak snapped after having a third period of looking entirely overwhelmed defensively. The offense looked flat yet again so, god knows what Darryl does with the lines. All work and no play, after all. Now the Kings play St. Louis (who's logo appears to be a foot now I guess), who have been rolling, and it's the second part of a back to back. Have the booze close by.
Prediction: Nerds yell at me about Blade Runner. Kings lose 4-1.